Crimson and Clover
by PieceOfShit96
Summary: Cutter begins to take an interest in the lanky albino that's wandered into his shop. But not in a way he ever expected.
1. Chapter 1

There was just something about the strength in that albino.

Cutter had watched him come back literally from the brink of death. Watched him fight for his life lying lifeless in that bed for weeks, barely able to render the strength to speak. Watched the light return to those crimson eyes.

He remembered how he had looked when he first wandered into the shop. Cutter hadn't known human beings could be that thin and still ambulate. He had been able to smell the infection from his wounds from across the counter. He knew he was sick, but hadn't anticipated caring for the poor sickly man like he had. Hadn't expected to take one look into those eyes and see so much pain and hurt he felt sorry enough for the man standing in front of him to offer him a job. One of the scariest moments of his life thus far had been finding him lying on the floor of that abandoned apartment. He was convinced Otis was dead until he knelt beside him and had a gun pressed to his head, the quaking albino barely able to hold the weapon. He felt his heart ache when he picked Otis up- alarmed at how little he weighed.

It had taken months for him to recover, but here he was. Finally a healthy weight, wounds healed and infections cleared, a light in his eyes Cutter had never seen before. The pain and fear was still there, but it was clouded by happiness. Living with the Firefly family had certainly worn well on him. Being loved looked good on him.

"Hey, man, where do you want me to put this?" Otis asked, holding part of the new exhibit he had made.

"We'll figure it out tomorrow, kid. I'm bushed. I wanna go home."

Otis shrugged. "Alright." He settled it where he had been working.

"Just because you can work forever and ever until you literally die at our house and someone has to bring you back doesn't mean we all want to work that way." Cutter teased.

He scoffed, then paused. "You gonna come see Baby?"

Cutter sighed and hung his head.

"She really misses you, man."

"I know. Eve and I splitting up has been rough on her."

"You two are still friendly enough. You could come over. She'd love it. Baby would, I mean."

"I know. I miss my babygirl, too." He wandered out around the counter, reaching to pat Otis on the shoulder. The younger man flinched away, swallowing heavily. "Hey, you're alright." Months living with them, and Otis still flinched whenever someone tried to touch him. He had explained to Cutter that he had been abused as a child- long into childhood, actually, until he was 13 and broke away from his parent's cruel hold. But he hadn't gone into much detail. He had let other members of the family touch him, but not the men of the family. Not unless he was too weak to have a say, and in those cases, he was especially frightened. Cutter assumed the abuse stemmed away from the physical and had ventured into sexual, but he didn't want to prod.

Otis glanced away, embarrassment crossing his features.

"Hey, come here. Come on. Relax. You know I won't hurt you."

"Please don't touch me..."

"I want you to know that it's alright."

Otis stared back, swallowing heavily.

Cutter smiled and nodded at him. "That's okay. You've come a long, long way. You don't need to rush anything."

"S...See you tomorrow, then, yeah?"

"Okay. I might stop by later tonight, anyway."

He nodded. "Th...Thanks, Cutter."

"For what?" He smiled. "Go, get some dinner."

He ended up venturing over to the farmhouse to visit Baby. They talked for a few hours, until Baby's eyelids were too heavy and she padded up the stairs.

Another set of footsteps came down, sitting next to Cutter on the couch.

"Hey."

"Hey, kid!" Cutter bellowed. Otis flinched. "What's up?"

"Just workin' on a sculpture...For the new exhibit, y'know."

"Damn, Otis. Do you ever sleep?"

He shrugged. "Gotta be tired to sleep."

"You're like a vampire, man. Stay up all night, never go into the sun. You have a reflection when you look in the mirror?"

"Unfortunately..."

He felt a twist in his heart. Otis's self-esteem was at rock bottom, but they were working with him. All of them were. "Guess you're not a bloodsucker then, huh?"

"No." Otis chuckled. "I guess not. Hey, thought you were tired? Isn't it late?"

"Yeah. I was just getting ready to go home. Sorry to leave on you."

"Nah, don't worry about it. I'm not offended. I came down for a beer."

"You gettin' drunk and workin'?" Cutter smirked.

"Hardly." Otis stood with Cutter and walked him to the door.

"I'll see you around, kid-" Cutter raised his hand to pat Otis's shoulder again. Otis flinched, but didn't recoil entirely. Cutter slowly, gently placed his hand on the albino's shoulder. He could feel Otis tremble slightly. "You're alright. You can defend yourself now, remember? You're strong enough. I won't hurt you..." He found himself gently stroking the flesh under his thumb, trying to comfort him. Sparks ran through his fingertips- or at least, the sensation of them. What was this? The last time he had felt that sensation was the first time he kissed Eve, so long ago. Once he had touched Otis, he felt himself incapable of letting go.

Otis smiled slightly, nodding.

"You're doing so good, Otis. I"m so proud of you."

"H...Huh?" Otis's head jerked up, Crimson staring into chocolate.

"You're doing so well. I'm proud of you."

"P...Proud?"

"Yeah...? Hasn't...Hasn't anyone ever said that to you?"

Red pools of light danced away from his as his gaze fell to the ground. "No...If I'm being honest, I never thought I would hear it. I always wanted to, though..."

"Well, I am proud of you. You've come really, really far kid. And you're going to be okay. I promise."

"Th...thank you."

"For what?"

"Everything..."

"Ain't nothin' but nothin', kid. You'll be good here. You always belonged here. It just took you a while to find us." With another gentle tap on the shoulder, Cutter left, confusion clouding his brain.

Why did he feel this way? What was it about that albino? What the hell was going on in his head? What was wrong with him?


	2. Chapter 2

If Otis was being honest, he hadn't wanted Cutter to stop touching him.

For as long as he had wanted to feel affection in his life, when he finally felt it it was magical to him. Like a drug. When Eve or Baby hugged him now, he smiled and burrowed himself into it, appreciating the warm feeling of someone's touch without pain.

But Cutter...Cutter was different. When he touched him, it was...electric. He didn't want him to stop, and it scared him. He wasn't...He liked women. He fucked women. When he did, he was powerful, in control. But...Cutter made him feel safe, like he didn't have to be in control. When he was around, Otis was relaxed- as relaxed as he could be, anyway.

His mind reeled for a week, two weeks. For once, however, something pleasant kept him up at night instead of his night terrors.

Late in the afternoon, he carefully sketched in his idea note book. He had plenty of material, he just awaited victims.

"Sweetie?" Eve's voice echoed from behind him.

"Hey, mom." He turned. Her face always glowed when he called her that. "What's going on?"

"John's here to see you."

"O-Oh...Tell him I'll be right down."

"Don't need to, kid. I'm right here." Cutter placed a hand in the small of Eve's back. "Can we have a moment alone?"

"Of course." She stepped out of the room.

"How are you doing, kid?" Cutter asked, sitting on Otis's bed and watching him as he worked. Otis stiffened, watching Cutter out of the corner of his eye.

"G-Good..."

"Relax. I'm not going to bed you."

"I-I just..."

"I know. You get nervous. It's alright. The door's right there. You can get to it before I can."

Otis took a deep breath and let it out in a shaky sigh. "What did you need?"

"Just wanted to see the ideas you were coming up with. That's all. Think about who I can show the tree to. What might work best for you. I think Tiny has enough pets for now."

"Oh..."

"Come on." Cutter pat the bed beside him. "Show me."

Otis nervously sat down on the bed next to him, flipping to the beginning of his sketch book. Cutter could feel the younger man shaking, his hands trembling as he flipped the pages.

"Uhm...Th-This one...Uh..."

"Hey, relax."

"Huh?"

"You're shaking. Relax." He gently stroked Otis's shoulder, working down to his upper arm. Otis squeaked in alarm. "It's okay."

Otis closed his eyes, taking a few deep breaths as he calmed himself.

"You know no one here is going to hurt you, right?"

"I...I know...It's just hard to not expect..." He sighed. "It's hard not to expect to be hit. Especially by a man."

"It was mostly your father, huh?"

He nodded.

"I want you to know...You'll never see that life again. No one will ever hurt you like that again." He pulled Otis close to him, a sideways embrace that made Otis blush.

"O-Okay..."

"So come on. Show me these ideas."

"Well..."

As Otis chattered on about his ideas and what kind of victim would be ideal for each, jotting down notes on the sketches, Cutter couldn't help but marvel at him. The light in his eyes, how his voice rose and fell in passion or confusion when he couldn't decipher his own notes. How he muttered to himself while he erased something.

"I think those are really great...Your drawings are...They're amazing."

"R...Really?"

"Yeah! Do you...Did you do any just for fun or are these all for work?"

"U...Uhm...Well...Some..."

"Can I see those?"

"Sure..." Otis flipped through the book, to the opposite side. "I'd like to keep them in a separate book, but...I-I...I can't afford another one. I just...Ah, nevermind."

"No, what?"

"I...feel a little guilty wasting paper in this notebook for...For stuff that's not...for work..." He shrugged.

"Oh, come on." Cutter stroked Otis's back gently a few times, watching the other man's face turn red. "Why would you feel bad? It's yours. You can do what you want with it."

If Otis was being honest, he couldn't think straight with someone this close to him. And he especially couldn't think straight with Cutter touching him. It wasn't in the negative way that it usually was, however, when he was running through scenarios in his mind as to how the situation could go sour. No, It was his mind running through possibilities of what Cutter touching him like that meant, and what he WANTED it to mean.

As he flipped through the drawings, sketches and colored art he watched Cutter's face carefully for a reaction. He marveled over each one, pointing out small details Otis had included and discussing what he found enjoyable about the piece.

"I think you should sell some of these at the shop. You never know."

Otis shrugged. "I don't think they'd sell. Your freaks sell, but usually the kind of people interested in that aren't exactly interested in fine art."

"Fair enough...I want you to know they're amazing, though."

He shrugged again. "Thanks for...For taking the time to look at them...And listen."

"Sure!" He squeezed Otis again, making a wry smile appear on his pale face. Cutter's heart melted into absolute mush.

"See you tomorrow?"

"See you tomorrow, kid. I'll be there bright and early."

"Alright. I'll see you there."

When Otis wandered in the next day, Cutter noticed a marked difference about him. He was more sluggish, and the rings around his eyes were darker.

"Didn't get much sleep last night?"

Otis shook his head. "No..."

"Eve said you get pretty wicked nightmares. Was that what it was?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I'll be alright." He sighed. "Ain't nothin' I ain't used to."

"I know..." He sighed. "Doesn't mean it doesn't suck, though."

"You're right. But I can't do anything about it."

"Does drawing help? I mean...Your work in general?"

Otis nodded. "Yeah. Helps me relax. Then I can at least get some sleep..."

Cutter sighed, squeezing Otis one more time before he left.

He wrapped on Otis's door again that next afternoon, bag behind his back. Otis sheepishly peered through a crack in his door, then opened it. "Cutter?"

"Yeah, It's me."

"Y...You said I didn't have to come in today...Did you need me?"

"No. No I just wanted to stop by."

"Oh."

"And give you this." He produced the sketchbook from the bag he had hidden.

"C-Cutter I can't-"

"Yes, you can. Take it. I hope it's alright. I didn't know what to get, really, so I just...picked one."

Otis couldn't help the smile growing on his face. When he looked up at Cutter from the simple notepad, he was beaming. "Thank you..."

"I want you to be able to get some rest. So there. Don't feel guilty about drawing for you anymore. Okay?"

"You don't...You have no idea how much this means to me."

"Don't worry about it, kid. You do have to do one thing, though."

The color instantly drained from Otis's face and the smile fell from his face, terror tainting his eyes. He took a step back, swallowing heavily.

"Hey, whoa. You look like you're going to pass out. What's wrong?"

"W-What do you want me to do?"

"I just want you to promise me you'll work with me on trusting me, and learning touch isn't a bad thing. Relax. Relax."

Otis let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding, and nodded.

"What did you think I was going to ask for?"

The look on Otis's face said it all.

"I would never do that to you. I would never hurt you. Trust me. You look like you're about to faint."

"I feel like I am."

Cutter lead him to the bed, sitting down beside him. "What're you gonna draw in it first?" He asked, stroking Otis's back lightly, trying to calm him.

"Uhm...I've been wanting to do some portraits...So maybe one of those..."

"Maybe you could do one of your mom and dad and then destroy it. That might help you a little bit." Otis's trembling was starting to subside, and the color- what little color he had- was returning to his face. "There. See? You're alright. Relax."

"When you said that I thought you were going to grab me and push me to my knees..."

"Oh, god. No. No. I wouldn't do that to you. I was going to hug you, actually." _Not that I wouldn't enjoy that_. Cutter reeled. Where the hell had that come from?

"Sorry..."

"It's okay. It's going to take some time, but you'll get there."

They sat and talked for a while, Otis still marveling over the blank sheets of paper awaiting him.

Finally, Cutter stood to leave, and Otis trailed him, following to the door.

"H-Hey...Cutter?"

"Hm?" He turned to face the albino.

"Thank you." He flung himself into the older man, wrapping his arms around his neck. Cutter wrapped his strong arms around the small waist, holding Otis there for a moment before releasing him.

"No problem, kid. Enjoy." He smiled as he left.


	3. Chapter 4

_The albino whined as he pounded into him with the perfect rhythm._

 _"John! John harder. Harder! Fuck me harder John!" He arched his back, begging, trying desperately to move his hips up to meet the clown's but couldn't, because of his restraints._

 _"Mm...Scream my name, slut. Scream it! You're such a little cock slut aren't you? AREN'T you?!"_

 _"Yes! Yes I need it-"_

He jerked awake at the sound of his alarm, whipping his head around to find the bed empty beside him. Just a dream.

Otis had startled him when he had been the one to initiate an embrace, but once he had that lanky albino in his arms, he didn't want to let go. He wanted to protect him and hold him close until all of his pain went away. The way that other man's body had felt against his had sent white hot surges up and down his spine. Surges he had never expected to feel with a man. But here they were.

His nightmares had subsided for a few days. He took every moment of relief he could, knowing soon they would be back and he would have restless nights once again. He had surprised himself by willingly hugging Cutter. But what had surprised him more was just how good it felt. How he had melted into the older man's arms so willingly. He had had to stop himself before he couldn't be separated. How his strong arms in the small of Otis's back had made him feel safe for the first time in his life. How warm his large hands were. How his beard had tickled his neck. How their cheeks had brushed.

He looked down and rubbed the goosebumps from his arms. Frustrated, he got dressed and went into the shop to work.

Neither of them discussed their feelings, for fear of scaring the other away. Days, then weeks passed and neither spoke a word.

Cutter had had enough. He decided to visit Otis one night, just as everyone was asleep. He figured Otis would be up. He usually was.

Not such the case. He lay in bed, slumbering somewhat soundly. Cutter stood to watch him, enjoying the look of serenity on the pale features.

Suddenly, Otis whimpered, turning in his sleep. He kept up the activity for a solid 10 minutes, then he calmed again. It wasn't long before the pained whimpers transformed into gut-wrenching screams.

Cutter was by his side in an instant, a gentle hand on his chest and on his back.

"Shhhhh. It's okay. It's okay."

"Fuck! Cutter?!" Otis shook, confusion written on his face.

"I came to ...Nevermind. What's going on?"

"I...I'm fine."

"You are not fine. What's going on?"

"I...I just...Get nightmares..."

"About your childhood..."

Otis nodded.

"W...What did they do to you when you were young, Otis?"

His face flushed and he shook his head.

"I know you were abused. How long did it go on?"

"Till I was 13."

"What happened then?"

He fell silent for a moment, considering. "I killed them...And I got away." Red eyes ventured to brown, fleetingly.

"How?"

Otis swallowed heavily, then stammered. "W-Well...They hadn't fed me for two weeks...I just started screaming...It hurt so bad...Your stomach...starts to eat itself and it hurts so much...Bitch finally threw some food at me and I...I killed her with the fork she gave me and then moved on to dad..."

"O-Otis...Why didn't you steal food from the kitchen?"

In barely a whisper, he answered, shame filling his voice. "As I got older, they kept me chained to my bed...Sometimes I would get so weak I couldn't even struggle against them because they were too heavy."

Cutter could barely believe the scene before him. Otis looked absolutely angelic, poised on the small mattress he slept on, moonlight filtering in through the window and illuminating his face. His hair shone white and his eyes sparkled a vivid violet hue mixed with crimson speckles. He was utterly gorgeous in that moment, laying his soul bare to the older man, and his appearance took on an ethereal quality.

Cutter moved slowly closer to him, sitting on the edge of the bed, out of the light's reach. He wanted to preserve the image in his mind.

"You kept begging your father to stop...Was he your main tormentor?"

"You asked that before...Yeah...In some ways."

"The other day...You were afraid I'd ask you to get on your knees...Was that..."

The pleading look on Otis's face, begging him not to continue with the question, answered him and shut him up at the same time.

"I don't want to believe it..." Cutter mumbled.

"Hn?" Otis cocked his head.

"You were raped. A sweet little innocent boy was raped by his father...I don't want to believe it."

Otis cringed visibly at the word, curling his lip and drawing away.

"You don't want to, either."

"No..."

Cutter slowly tried to close the distance between them. Otis tensed, watching him. As if he was trying to coax a frightened dog, Cutter slowly reached his hand out to touch Otis, who flinched away at first, but returned. Cutter placed a hand gently on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry that happened to you..."

The albino shrugged. "Happened."

"It was horrible, I'm sure. And I know you still suffer because of their sickness."

"I'll survive. I made it this far...I have a feeling it's not going to be as hard from now on."

"No. No it won't." He slowly reached toward Otis's face.

"W-What're you doing?"

"Relax." He gently caressed Otis's cheek. "I came over here to tell you something."

Otis's heart began to pound. He could feel the blood rush to his face.

"I...May feel more for you than just a new adopted son." Cutter began carefully. "In fact, we've become very close. But I don't feel fatherly to you...I want to protect you, but not in that way."

"W...What do you mean?"

"Well...Quite frankly I've developed a crush on you, Otis. I'm attracted to you. I don't understand it. But I am. And this is me laying it out for you. So...Do what you want with that information."

"I-I...I'm...I'm attracted to you, too. I..." Otis pulled away from Cutter's touch. "I...I'm attracted to you...And you...You feel the same?"

"Yeah. I'm...Pretty sure that's what I said." Cutter smiled softly. "So. Can we work on...establishing something here?"

"Y-You...You're going to have to be very patient with me."

"I'm more than willing. I'll help you with whatever you need. Okay?"

"Thank you..."

"Can I give you a hug?"

Otis nodded, moving closer to Cutter so he could grab him into a warm, loving embrace. He couldn't help but nuzzle into the other man's arm, earning him a healthy chuckle.

"You love this shit."

"I...I've never had this."

"Well, Otis. You're about to having it all."

Otis pulled away, smiling slightly.

"You don't have to leave if you don't want to. Come here." Spaulding held his arms out to receive Otis again.

"H-huh?"

"If you like being held like that, I'll hold you."

"Th-That's okay...I.."

"Alright. You're not used to it yet. It's okay." He pat Otis's back gently. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For trusting me enough to give me a chance."


	4. first kiss

Otis wasn't on very sure footing, but he would work into it.

He wasn't used to people touching him like this. The rest of the family touching him was one thing. He was getting used to it. Getting used to being grabbed and hugged and touched to get his attention. The little things. That hadn't meant anything to them but meant that horror was coming when someone was touching him. He was beginning to realize that not everyone was dying to abuse him.

But the way Cutter touched him was different. There was so much affection dripping in every caress. Quite frankly, it scared the hell out of Otis; but he wanted it so badly. Had craved affection his entire life and here it was being handed right to him. But there had to be a catch. There had to be. There was no way his life could be going this well.

He sat at Cutter's house on the couch, waiting for him to come back from getting a beer. They had been 'together'- was that what they were considered? Otis wasn't sure about any of this. All he knew was that it felt good. And that it had to go sour some time.

"Hey, Otis. Come here."

"Hn?" He squirmed closer.

Cutter gently stroked his cheek, tucking a strand of hair behind Otis's ear. "You are so wonderful. You know that?"

Otis shook his head. "N...No...I..."

"How come you're so confident and aggressive with everyone else, but you're all shy with me, huh?" He stroked Otis's cheek once again.

"I-I." He stammered, baffled. "I don't...Know...I"

"You don't have to be scared of me, you know that, right?"

"I'm always going to be afraid...I can't help it."

"You know your life will never be like that again. Anything like that." He smiled. "You're going to be happy now. You're safe now."

Otis let out a sigh of relief he hadn't known was necessary. Of all the things he never expected to hear, that was one of them. He was safe. Finally, he was safe.

"Hey, relax. Let me do something, okay? I won't hurt you."

"H-huh?"

Cutter leaned close and gently kissed Otis.

His mind reeled. Unsure of what to do, he tried to kiss back, but extremely unsuccessfully.

Spaulding leaned away, a questioning look on his face. Otis lit up a shade of red cutter wasn't sure if he had ever seen.

"I...Oh god...I..." Otis sighed. "I've...Never...I'm so sorry.

"You've never kissed anyone before?"

"No?"

"Here, let me take the lead, then." Slowly, Cutter's lips made contact with Otis's. "Relax, you're tense. Just relax." He gently caressed Otis's back, pulling him slightly closer. He swore he could hear a slight whimper of pleasure escape the other man's lips. "Follow my lead, baby. Don't just sit there."

Cautiously, Otis began moving his lips in unison with Cutter.

"Mmm...There ya go. Mm that's good." Cutter moaned. He swore he felt Otis smile against his lips. Cutter placed a hand on Otis's jaw, slowly working his hand around to support Otis's neck. There was no mistaking the whine of pleasure this time. Goosebumps raised on the back of his neck. That was it- Otis loved the affection. That was the key to him.

The kiss was sweet, loving, tender. Otis melted into it, relaxing into the older, larger man's arms as they slowly wrapped around his back.

Otis broke away first, pressing his forehead against Cutter's. His breathing had become slightly ragged, and he seemed distressed.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Cutter asked, putting his finger under Otis's chin and tipping his head up to meet his eyes.

Otis paused, looking into Cutter's eyes for a moment. "I don't want to like that as much as I did..."

"Why? It's okay to feel good, Otis. You're allowed to enjoy things. You're allowed to experience pleasure."

"I know..."

"Then relax and let yourself." Cutter slowly worked his thumb under the bottom of Otis's shirt, maintaining eye contact and monitoring his body language. Otis didn't flinch as Cutter gently caressed his abdomen, bringing the shirt up ever so slowly. "Stop me when you're done. Don't be afraid to tell me no." He kissed the albino, still working his hands up his plain white t-shirt.

He felt and heard a contented sigh from Otis's mouth. He was loving this. Loving the attention.

Slowly, he worked Otis's shirt up his torso until he tossed it over his head. Otis swallowed heavily, watching him.

"Wow..."

"I...I know, I'm sorry I-"

"You're fucking gorgeous."

"Huh?"

"You look amazing." he slowly stroked Otis's shoulder, getting the younger man used to his touch on bare flesh.

"I...I have so many scars-"

"I don't care about that. Just reminds me how strong you are." He kissed him again, moving his hand down to caress the pale flesh of his chest. He heard Otis inhale sharply, then exhale shakily. "You like that?"

"Mm..." Otis grumbled in affirmation.

"Good. I like making you feel good."

Otis flinched away, suddenly realizing just exactly what was happening.

"Hey, shh. What's wrong? What did I do? Tell me so I don't do it again, okay?"

"I...I can't do this. I can't."

"Why? What did I do?"

"I'm not fucking gay, Cutter."

"Neither am I. But okay. You...You said yourself you enjoyed it. Right?"

Otis swallowed heavily.

"So why can't it be okay?"

"It...it's not...I..." He paused for a moment, letting his shoulders slump.

"This doesn't make you weak...It doesn't change who you are. It just means you're enjoying this. Okay? Just like I am."

"O-Okay."

"Come here." Cutter wrapped his arms around Otis in an embrace, gently tracing his fingers up and down his spine, then stroking his hair. "Relax..."

Otis nodded. "Yeah...Relax..." He sighed, pulling away from the embrace.

"I can't believe you've never kissed someone."

"Nope."

"Are you a virgin?"

He raised an eyebrow. "My dad-"

"No, that doesn't count."

"Well, the answer is still no."

"How...?"

"You can have sex with someone and not kiss them."

"True...Damn, kid..."

Otis shrugged. "Hey. Wh-" He was cut off with Cutter's lips pressing against his own. Smirking, he broke away quickly.

"What do you think of it?"

Bashfully, Otis rested his hand on the back of Cutter's neck, pulling him close and into another kiss. The albino was learning his skills quickly, Cutter noted. "I'm a fan. A huge fan, actually..."

"Good." Cutter smiled. He hadn't really been a fan...But if his Otis loved it, then he would make it happen. And he was beginning to want to give him kisses at every turn. He was just so precious of a human.

"John..."

"What'll we do if someone finds out?"

"We'll get to that if we have to, okay?" One more kiss on Otis's lips. "You'd better get goin'. Eve'll be wonderin' where you are."

"Yeah..." Otis grumbled, pulling his shirt over his head. "I'll uh...see you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow kid." The clown smiled.


	5. Chapter 5

Otis stood in the back of the shop, his back to Cutter.

He slowly approached the smaller man, gently placing a hand on his shoulder. "Hey..."

"What." He demanded, not turning around.

"Good morning..." Cutter tried, gently wrapping his arms around Otis, who bristled and immediately turned in his arms, shoving him away. "What the fuck?"

Otis tensed as if readying for a fight, glaring suspiciously at Cutter. "You mother fucker."

"Uh, hold up there son I don' think-"

"You're going to be just like everyone else."

"What?"

"You're going to get close to me and then fucking hurt me. No. I'm not letting you."

Cutter reached out to touch Otis, who pulled away abruptly.

"Don't FUCKING touch me!"

"Hey. Relax. Relax. Let's talk about this, yeah?"

"Ain't nothin' to talk about, old man. You're just the fuckin' same. You don't want shit from me except to use me and then throw me away."

"No. Otis. I want you to trust me. Do you think I would be so careful with you if I didn't?"

"Yeah, because you know how I am. You know I get...jumpy."

"Yes. But I do want more from you. You're a part of our family now, remember?"

"But-"

"You're still trying to deal with it. I know. I understand. I am, too. I'm still trying to understand what's going on in my own head. But there are some things I do know for sure."

"Oh, yeah? And what're those?" He challenged.

"For one, that I really like you. I feel the same way about you as I did about Eve all those years ago. That's a feeling you don't forget. Second, I know that I enjoyed last night. A lot. And third, I know that you did, too."

"F-fuck you!"

"Otis, just let go. Let go of some anxiety. Some worry. Just let me give you some lovin'. Is it all that hard?"

"I..."

"Just enjoy it. Don't think so much about labels. You're not normal, anyway. Why should you conform in any way?" He smiled softly. "I want to make you smile like that again."

"You're just fuckin' butterin' me up, Cutter."

"No. I'm not. I promise. I promise. And I always keep my word. Don't I?"

Otis contemplated. Cutter had never shown an instance where he hadn't. He had promised Otis he would be safe with the Firefly family. And he had been. He promised Otis they would love him as their own. And they had. He had promised Otis food in his belly and clothes on his back. And he had that. Otis made eye contact, his sheepish face enough of a 'yes'.

"Okay. So can you trust me on this one, too? That I'm not just trying to hurt you. That I genuinely do want some kind of relationship with you."

He looked back down at the floor, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "I...I guess..."

"I understand you're scared. I am too. But I know you've been hurt before-"

"You don't know SHIT, Cutter-"

"Hey, shut the fuck up I'm trying to give you credit here. Damn, you're so touchy about some shit."

"Used to fightin', is all..."

"I know." Slowly reaching out to Otis for a hug, Cutter felt himself instantly shoved away. "Hey what the fuck?"

Otis looked back at him, surprisingly not in anger, but relative indifference.

"You just in a pissy mood or is it a bad day?"

"Bad day." He answer, turning back to work on his sculpture. "Also used to tryin' to shove hands off me because whatever it is, they'll hurt."

"We're gonna work on changing that."

Otis grunted, not paying him much mind.

"We okay, then?"

"Huh? Yeah. Sure."

"Alright."

That night, Cutter drove Otis back to his house, pulling him in. "You're supposed to drop me off at the Firefly's!"

"Do you care?"

"N...NO, but..."

"Relax. Live in the moment. You can afford to now."

Sighing, Otis followed Cutter to the couch, sitting down beside him. Cutter began to gently knead Otis's shoulders.

"That feel good?"

"Mmm-hm..."

"Not gonna shove me away?"

"Everything hurt today...That's why..."

"Oh. I'm sorry..."

"Happens some times."

"Can I keep going down your back?"

"Wish you would."

Cutter continued massaging the taut muscles until he reached Otis's lumbar spine. He flinched, pulling away abruptly.

"Okay, okay stop."

"What's wrong?"

"Just always hurt there...Hurts too bad for you to touch it."

"H...How do you function?"

"You get used to it."

"Oh my god..." Cutter sighed. "Well, come here." He pulled Otis against him, one arm around the thin frame. "Should we resume where we left off?" He murmured.

Otis tried to hide the amusement on his face. "And where was that?"

"I think right about here..." Cutter leaned in slowly, taking Otis's lip between his teeth when their lips finally met, then kissing him deeply, letting his hands gently roam the albino's flesh.

"I think you're right..." Otis answered around their mouths. "Seems close."

"Do you EVER shut up?" Cutter asked, smirking.

"Hnn..." Otis grumbled. Spaulding pulled his shirt up slightly, exposing the white abdomen.

"You're so beautiful...Can I see that again?" As he asked, Otis pulled his shirt over his head.

"Here ya go." Otis bit his lip, waiting for Cutter's next move.

Cutter gently caressed Otis's bare chest, marveling. "I never knew I loved the color white as much as I do now."

"White isn't a color." Otis murmured, eyes closed as he felt Cutter's warm, soft touches on his skin. "It's all of the colors mixed together. Black is the total lack of color..."

"Ooh, we got a reader over here." Cutter planted a light kiss on Otis's lips.

"Being alone lends itself to boredom..."

"You love this don't you?"

Otis ventured his eyes open, questioning.

"You love just being touched like this. Bein' loved on."

"Yeah...It's nice. Relaxing..."

"You've never had this, have you?"

"No..."

"You're allowed to touch me, too, you know. You don't have to be shy." One bear-paw like hand cupped Otis's cheek. He flinched at first, then turned to the warm palm. "Shh, yeah, that's it." Silence filled the room for a moment, crimson eyes staring deep into coffee brown. "Still think I'm going to use you like everyone else has?"

"Yes." He fidgeted slightly. "But...I'm dumb enough to let you. Even though I know better. No one can love me. No one can feel that way about me. I'm not special. I'm a piece of shit. I know I am. I'm a freak and nothing will ever change that. So I'm not easy to love. So I know that some time, some way, this is all going to turn to shit. And you're going to start hitting me and not taking 'no' for an answer."

"Don't you ever talk about yourself like that again." Real fury touched Cutter's eyes as he threw weight behind his words. Otis's eyes widened and he shrunk away. "You are not a freak. You are special. And you are worth love. And people can love you. If you let them in." He wrapped his arms around Otis's frame, now trembling slightly, and pulled him close. "I would never, ever do that to you, either. I've never hit one of my partners, unless they told me to. And I will always take 'no' as an answer from you. I promise. Okay?"

"O-Okay..."

"It's going to be okay. I don't care how many times I have to tell you. I'll always make sure you're okay."

Otis tried, and failed, to hold back a smile.


	6. Chapter 6

"I love to see that smile." Cutter chuckled. "God, kid, you are gorgeous." He leaned in, gently kissing Otis. "And your skin is so soft..." He murmured as he moved his hands along Otis's chest, kissing him slowly. He swore he heard Otis let out a whimpering moan of pleasure. "God I love your chest..." Breaking away from Otis's lips, he kissed the pale flesh.

Otis gasped slightly, looking down at the clown.

"This okay? You want me to stop?"

"N-No...Keep going."

"Okay." He continued leaving warm kisses on the cool, pale flesh of Otis's chest. Hearing Otis sigh contentedly was enough to embolden him as he moved up to his collarbone, nibbling slightly and causing Otis to jerk in alarm. "You're alright. You're alright." Cutter chuckled. "Your heart is pounding."

"Yeah..."

"You scared?"

Otis nodded.

"Do you want me to stop?"

"No..."

Cutter began to kiss Otis's shoulder, working in and up the line of his form, reaching the base of his neck. Otis let out a small whimper, placing one hand on Cutter's arm, stroking gently. Curious, the clown kissed Otis's neck, careful not to leave a mark yet.

Otis squirmed and tried desperately to hold back a moan, finally releasing the pleasured noise when Cutter simply wouldn't let up. Encouraged by Otis's sounds of pleasure, he continued, gently nibbling and sucking on his flesh. "Oooh, that feels good, huh? Feels so good.."

Otis moaned in response, arching his hips slightly.

Cutter hit just the spot. The perfect spot on Otis's neck. Otis let out a loud moan and shuddered, gripping Cutter's shoulder with strong artist's fingers.

"Oh, so you really like that, huh? He chuckled. Otis whimpered.

"Why'd you stop?"

"I didn't know if you'd want to go on."

"I...I'll tell you when we're done..."

"You promise? You promise you'll tell me. Because I'll stop."

"I will. I promise."

"Okay." He nibbled Otis's neck, relishing in the sounds that the albino was making.

"G-God...Cutter..." He whined, raising a hand to twist in his hair, trying desperately to grapple with the sensation. Having sex was one thing- he had had his fair share of encounters with bumping uglies. He had dominated many women in his day. But there was no intimacy. It was cumming and going. It was hot, sweaty and felt good. But this. this was entirely different. No one had ever loved him like this before. No one had ever taken care of him like this before. No one had ever cared.

Cutter felt the tension melt away from Otis's body. Not the tension brought on by arousal. That certainly hadn't left. But the fear was gone. The apprehension.

He let his hands roam Otis's torso, making the younger man shudder beneath him and whimper. He could feel Otis's bulging pants beneath him, his erection rubbing against his leg.

"Getting you a little excited there, kid?"

Otis blushed, trying to fidget and hide himself. "Hn...s...Sorry...I never-"

Cutter kissed him, cutting him off. "Don't you dare apologize." Gently, as if asking permission, he pushed Otis so he was lying on the couch. "You okay?"

"Mm-hm."

"You're tense again."

"Just...apprehensive."

"That's okay. I will stop if you want me to."

"Oh, god no. I sure as hell don't want you to stop." Otis chuckled.

"Alright. But just tell me if I go too far, okay?"

"Yea-" His answer was cut off with a low moan as Cutter began to kiss his neck once again.

Leaving a few marks for good measure of marking his territory, Cutter worked down Otis's chest and back up to his neck, finally making his way back to claim Otis's lips.

Otis felt Cutter's hand graze the inside of his thigh. Paying no mind, he moved his lips in unison with the clown's, working up the courage to wrap an arm around the older man's neck.

Cutter smiled at Otis's progress. Slowly he worked his way from his inner thigh to his groin. caressing lightly next to his bulge. Otis seemed unbothered, so he continued, beginning to stroke his member through his jeans.

Otis let out a high-pitched whimper of pleasure, egging Cutter on. Distracted, Otis stopped moving his lips in acceptance of a kiss, so the clown settled in his neck again, making him moan once more.

"Oh, I love to hear those sounds, baby." He nibbled Otis's ear. "Don't hold back. Don't be ashamed of lettin' me know you like it."

A shaky, nervous moan.

"There ya go. I like it too. I like touchin' you. It's just as good for me right now as it is for you." He smiled against Otis's skin. "Where else where you let me go, huh? You're so delicious..." He let one hand wander Otis's back, working down to his hips. He hadn't felt Otis stiffen, so he continued, placing a hand on Otis's backside and giving a light squeeze.

"NO!" Otis roared to life, flailing and shoving Cutter onto the ground, scrambling upright and pressing his back to the couch.

"Whoa, whoa. It's alright. It's alright. Relax. I would've stopped. You didn't have to put me on the floor..." He groaned, picking himself up. "Damn..."

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I-I-"

"Hey, hey...It's okay. Shhhh. Come here." He slowly, gently took Otis's face in his hands, stroking the apples of his cheeks with his thumbs. "It's okay."

Otis stared back, wide-eyed and beginning to tremble.

"Hey, hey. Why're you shaking?"

"Because you're pissed and you're going to hit me."

"No I'm not. I'm not mad. And I would never hit you."

"I-I...I hurt you."

"You just put me on my ass, is all. I'm fine. You didn't hurt me. You're fine." Cutter kissed his forehead. "Can you tell me why you don't like that, though?"

"I ...D...Dad. That's...all you need to know."

"Okay. We'll...We'll work on it. Okay?"

"Work on it?"

"On you being comfortable with it."

Otis nodded.

Cutter reached again, making Otis jump and grab Cutter by the shoulders.

"Look at me. Look me in the eyes. It's me. It's not him. I'm going to make you feel good. I'm not going to hurt you."

Wide eyed, Otis stared at him, swallowing heavily as he felt the large hand move down his back.

"It's okay. It's me. It's not your dad."

"Cutter stop! Stop! No!"

He pulled away, holding both hands up in the air in submission.

Otis panted beneath him, trembling again.

"It's okay."

"I didn't think you would stop."

"I told you I would. I keep my promises."

Sighing to regain his bearings, Otis sat up. "Okay..."

Startling Cutter, Otis pressed the larger man down against the seat of the couch, kissing him. "Oh, honey yes." Cutter moaned.

"Touch me."

"What?"

"Grab my ass."

"You just-"

"I needed to know you would stop. I got scared. But now I'm in control. Grab my ass, old man."

Cutter obliged, gently squeezing. Otis froze for a moment, shuddering, but then returned to kissing the clown. "See? It's just me."

"Feels good..." Otis murmured, running his fingers through his hair to move it out of his face.

"Anything can feel good with the right intent."

Leaning away to sit on Cutter's thighs, Otis scoffed. "I doubt that having a cattle prod shoved up your ass can feel good in any circumstances."

Cutter's eyes widened. "O-Otis...God tell me-"

"I'm not tellin' you anything. Could've just been an example. But I have been thrown around."

"I know you have. And I promise you. I'm never going to treat you that way." He gently placed a hand on the back of Otis's neck, kissing him.

"Keep keepin' your promises, clown." Otis muttered, pressing his forehead to Spaulding's.


	7. Chapter 7

It wasn't long before Otis allowed Cutter to be more physical with him.

It was an exercise in exploration for both of them. For Otis, it was figuring out what he liked and disliked. For Cutter, it was figuring out what would and wouldn't send the albino into a panic attack.

It was months, however, until Otis finally gave in.

"C...Cutter?"

"Yeah?" He placed his hand in the small of Otis's back, pecking him on the forehead lightly. They had settled into each other. Mostly, anyway. Cutter loved to shower Otis with the affection he so deserved, and Otis loved to receive it. He was still wary sometimes- Cutter had to show his intent to touch Otis if he wanted him not to flinch- but they were getting somewhere. A hand in the small of Otis's back made him feel safe. Loved. Sure.

"What...Er...What're you doing tonight?"

"Nothin' I know of."

"Can it be me?"

The clown had to do a double-take to fully realize what Otis had said. He stared back, unwavering. "Wh...Really?"

Otis nodded slowly, biting his lip.

"You're ready?"

"You're not?"

"I've done this before. You never have consensually. Are you sure?"

"Just listen to me like you always do..."

"I always will."

"I'll swing by later, then."

"Alright." Cutter stole a quick kiss as Otis turned away. "Goddamn you look good today."

"I know you like it when I wear this shirt." He called over his shoulder as he started to the back.

"You fuckin' tease."

Otis lay apprehensively in Cutter's bed, waiting for the clown to make his way up the stairs.

"Oh, you are ready aren't you?" He chuckled. "You don't look comfortable, though."

"Nervous."

"Why? If you're not ready, Otis-"

"I am. I'm just nervous. I don't know what to expect. Is that okay?"

"I suppose. But I don't want you to think you have to do this."

"I know I don't."

"I'll still stay even if you don't want to have sex."

Sitting up, Otis grabbed Cutter by the shirt, pulling him so close their noses touched. "I want you to fuck me until I scream. I want you to mark your territory on my chest and leave your teeth marks in my skin because of it. Think you can manage that, old man?"

"Holy shit..." Cutter remarked, wide-eyed. He was already getting hard. "Yeah, I think I got it." He smirked. "Gonna bend you over until you beg-"

"No. Not from behind. I have to look at you."

"Otis, you can't live afraid of him forev-"

"Not from behind."

"The first time I won't. But goddammit I'm going to fix the damage he's done." He grumbled.

Leaning closer to Otis, He studied the younger man's features. He was angelic. beautiful. Except to those he brought demise. He kissed him, beginning to work Otis up. Kissing his neck, nibbling his ear, letting his hands explore that muscular torso. Otis tilted his head back in pleasure and let the sensations meld together, smiling softly.

"There ya go. Relax." Cutter bit and suckled a few choice spots on Otis's pale flesh, leaving purple and red bruises on the areas. Otis whimpered and moaned, letting the euphoria take over his body and mind. Cutter stroked the pale, soft flesh, relishing in the sensation.

The clown worked the albino up until he was moaning and bucking his hips against Spaulding's, desperately trying to produce some kind of friction on his member.

He chuckled, resting his hands on Otis's hips, trying to ignore the way he flinched. "Let me unwrap this present slowly, yeah?"

Otis fidgeted. "Please..."

"Are you begging me?"

"Hn...Fuck you I don't beg for anything..."

"You've got a different tune to a minute ago. What's that about, baby?" He kissed Otis's neck again, gently fondling him through his jeans. Otis jerked, letting out a single startled moan, then stopping himself. "No, no. Don't hold back. Let me know what you're feeling. Let me hear that sweet music."

He ground himself against Otis's arousal, teasing him. Otis tilted his head back, letting out a soft hum of pleasure. Cutter slowly unbuttoned his jeans, watching Otis's reaction. The younger man stared at him, eyes suddenly worried.

"What's wrong? Having second thoughts?"

"No...God, no this feels so fucking good." He sighed. "I just...I...I have a ...a lot of scars, and-"

"That doesn't matter." He gently stroked Otis's face, staring into those volcanic pools of ruby. "Nothing can change the way I feel about you."

The question stuck in Otis's throat _How do you feel about me? What does that mean?_ But he stifled it. Not the time to ask- it would ruin the moment.

He slowly pulled Otis's pants down and off, freeing his legs. Cutter smirked knowingly. "So that's why women scream."

"What're you gonna make _me_ do?" Otis asked, quirking an eyebrow daringly.

"Oh, honey. I'm gonna make you feel better than you ever have." He pulled down Otis's boxers, now fully exposing the albino.

"Why am I the first one naked?"

"Because you're quite a sight to behold. I'm not sure if you're aware. But by god you are fucking beautiful."

Cutter hastily undressed, tossing his clothes this way and that, then crawling on top of Otis.

"I could just lay here and stare at you."

"What fun would that be for me?"

"You understanding how much you're appreciated." He chuckled, kissing Otis and resting a hand on his sides, stroking the pale flesh and feeling goosebumps rise in the alabaster. Otis loved his caresses- his big warm hands leaving stretches of affection where bruises previously painted a white canvas.

"John..." Otis murmured, pulling him closer. Cutter's synapses went mad, driving him to the point of combustion at hearing Otis murmur his real name.

"What do you think, huh? You ready?"

Pressing his lips to Cutter's , he nodded awkwardly, arms around he clown's neck. As gently as he could, Cutter entered the smaller man, who jerked away, wincing, his eyes screwed shut.

"Hey, relax. Relax. I know. It hurts worse if you tense up."

"Fuck mother fucker goddamn that fucking burns like a son of a bitch!"

"Hey, relax." He caressed Otis's face. "Open your eyes. It's me."

"Hnn...hnnn..."

He felt Otis relax, relaxing the muscles around his member as well. Relieved, Cutter worked his way down Otis's chest, hand tracing trails absentmindedly. "It's okay. See? Just tell me to stop and I'll stop alright?"

"O-Okay..." He murmured around Cutter's lips as he claimed them once more, daring to bite the clown's lower lip, egging him on.

"Ooh, baby you're workin' hard for this one, aren't ya?" He thrust once into Otis and froze as Otis's eyes flew open.

Memories flooded Otis's brain in alarming speed at the all too familiar sensation. Occurrence after occurrence accosted his mind all at once. He had felt that before. When he was in danger. It had been horrible. Painful. Humiliating.

He grabbed Cutter by the shoulders, eyebrows knitting together in fear. He whimpered, this time not in pleasure. It was a sound that tore Cutter's heart from his chest.

"It's okay. It's okay. It's me. Relax, honey."

"P...Promise me you'll stop...if I need you to..."

"I will. I promise. And I won't be mad if you need to."

"Y...You won't hurt me?"

Again, the clown's heart broke. "No. I want to make you feel good. Remember?"

"It hurts..."

"Right now it does. But if you just relax, sweetheart, it'll feel so good. I wouldn't lie to you."

Otis nodded. "O...Okay." He relinquished his grip on Cutter's shoulders, relaxing into the bed and settling. "Then make me feel good."

"You sure?"

"Yes..." Wrapping his hand around Cutter's neck, Otis kissed him slowly, waiting.

"You're getting better than me at that. I'm jealous."

"You've been giving me enou-hnnn..." Otis let out a low groan of appreciation as Cutter began a rhythm. The pain began to melt away into pleasure, and Otis relaxed, becoming distracted and unable to continue kissing his clown.

"You always do that when you start feelin' good." Cutter chuckled. "Guess you ain't used to it yet. Ain't no one ever make you feel good like this before?"

"N-no...John..."

"Oh, honey...Goddamn I love it when you say my name." Unable to restrain himself anymore, he increased his speed, pounding into Otis harder.

Otis let out a startled shriek of pleasure, dropping his jaw and digging his nails into Cutter's flesh. "John!"

"What'sa matter? Like that?" He dropped his head to kiss Otis's neck, making him moan and purr beneath him. Cutter felt himself close to the edge, getting closer as Otis made those sweet sounds.

"John! I...I-"

They reached climax at the same time, Otis biting his tongue to prevent a louder expletive than he wanted.

Still panting, Cutter kissed him. "Alright. Now. Do you trust me?"

Otis swallowed heavily. "W...What're you going to do to me?"

"The same thing, that's all. Just a different position. Come on. I want to show you it's okay."

"What's okay?"

"Just relax."

"H...Hn?" Otis shook as Cutter positioned himself behind him, maneuvering Otis correctly. "C-Cutter...?"

"It's okay. It's me. It's your big teddy bear. Not your daddy. He'll never hurt you again. It's me makin' you feel good."

"Cutt-AH!"

"Shhhh...Do you want me to stop?"

"Not...Not yet..."

"I'm just gonna make you feel good. Alright? You're alright."

Again, they made love. Cutter couldn't even call it fucking. Not the way he felt about Otis.

He couldn't completely lose himself in the moment, though. Not yet. He had to carefully watch Otis's body language. Listen for signs he was in distress.

Judging by the sounds Otis was making, there was no distress.

Cutter caressed his back, fingers lingering for a moment on ages-healed scars. Feeling his musculature.

As Otis shuddered and collapsed, Cutter picked him up and sat him in his lap, kissing his shoulder gently. "See? Nothing like what your father used to do, right?"

He sighed, smiling and leaning his head back to rest it on the larger man's shoulder. "No. Not at all."

"Did you enjoy yourself?"

"Mm..." Otis nodded. "Yeah. Yeah I did. Different than..."

"Different than just cum and go episodes and however your daddy hurt you, huh?"

"Y-yeah..." Rising out of Cutter's arms, Otis wandered to the bathroom. "Gonna shower."

"Is that an invitation?" Cutter smirked.

"No!" Otis turned, almost slamming the door shut but peeking out from a crack. "N...NO...I...uh..."

"Okay. Okay. I understand."

Cutter's blood boiled at the thought of what his father had done to that sweet little boy to make him act like this. But he was going to fix all that pain and hurt if it killed him.


	8. Chapter 8

Once Otis had cleaned himself up, Cutter took his turn.

When he came back into the bedroom, he couldn't help but smile.

Otis was sprawled on his back, one arm behind his head, sheet lazily strewn over his waist, hair splayed about.

"Goddamn. Look at you." He smiled hugely. Otis peered up at him. "You look like an angel lyin' there."

"W...What?" Otis stared up at him, wide eyed. In his awe, he smiled, chuckling as if he was relieved. "O...Oh my god."

Cutter's heart melted at that smile. The way Otis's cheeks bunched up and the little lines appeared next to his eyes. The little chip in his front tooth. "What's wrong, little angel?"

Otis shook his head. "I...Used to always be called satan or the son of the devil. Take your pick of any satanic insult and I was called it. But...But you..."

"No. You're not any of that." He crawled into bed with Otis, taking his face in his hands and kissing his forehead. "You're my little angel. You're beautiful. You make me happy. You-"

"I make you happy?"

"What? Yes of course you do!"

"I...I make someone happy..."

Cutter wrapped his arms around Otis and held him close. "Of course...Of course you make me happy, my little angel." He kissed his head. "Will you just lay here with me for a little bit? I just want to hold you."

"Ain't got nothin' better to do."

Cutter adjusted himself so that he and Otis were comfortable as Otis's back was pressed against his chest. Cutter brushed Otis's hair over one shoulder, running his fingers through the silky white locks.

"Mm...That feels good..." Otis shivered.

"Oh yeah?"

"Mm-hm."

"I love touchin' you, you know that?"

"Why?"

"Because you love it. It always gets a reaction out of you. You just want to be loved so fuckin' badly. And I would love to give it to you."

Otis paused for a moment. "You know...I've never had someone say that to me."

"Say what?"

"That they loved me."

"What? Never?"

"No...Wanted to hear it for so long..." He shrugged. "Never did though. S'alright. I'll make it."

"Otis..."

"Don't play with those words because you think it's what I want. I don't take them lightly, and they've been used as weapons against me."

"How can those words be used as weapons?"

"Using them as an ultimatum. Or using them as incentive."

"What...What did you do to hear those words, Otis?"

He fell silent once more, sighing through his nose. "Awful. Stupid things. All for broken promises and taunts. I was young." He bit his lip, debating continuing. "Y'know what I'm most afraid of, I think?"

"What's that, honey?"

"That every ounce of love I've ever given will have been a waste. Because everyone I've ever given it to has hurt me."

"I...I wouldn't ever-"

"Isn't that what everyone always says? I would never this I would never that. I get it. I do. But...I can't help but be scared. I want...I want to feel what that's like..."

"It's an amazing feeling. You'll get it." He kissed Otis's head. "I promise"

"Oh god. Another promise?" Otis smirked.

"Yes." Cutter laughed, squeezing Otis tighter. The albino sighed contentedly. "This is all you ever wanted, isn't it?"

"Well, not everything. But it's pretty damn close."

"What else did you want, little angel? I'll give you everything I can."

Otis peered over his shoulder. "Don't."

"What?"

"I...You're not my sugar daddy and I'm not your little whore."

"Whoa, where's this coming from?"

"Sorry...I just..."

"It's okay. I understand...I think. You're still just wary of it all."

"I'm just waiting for you to take it all away."

"What? Otis, what?" Cutter pushed him away to roll him over so their eyes met.

"Hey!" He protested. "What're you gonna do, hit me?"

"I told you I would never hit you, you know that." He stroked Otis's face. "But what do you mean?"

"I'm just waiting for it to all come crashing down on me. For you to not want me anymore."

"Listen. I'm not going to say never. Because I can't see the future. But I can say that I don't see that any time soon. And I'm...really, really enjoying this. I'm really enjoying you."

Otis lay beside Cutter, concern painted across his features.

"Not the answer you wanted?"

"I'm not sure what I wanted..."

"It's okay. I'm not leaving. I'm here. I'm staying. I can't promise you forever when I don't know if I'll die tonight."

"...I'm scared."

"What?"

"I'm scared. What if...What if you just fucking drop me. I...I've given a lot to you that-"

"Shhh, honey. Honey. I know that. That, I can promise you. I would never just drop you. There would have to be problems, yeah? We'd have to be fighting for a long time. Or things would have to be not working for a while. I promise, I would never just drop you. And if something was wrong, we would try to fix it. This is real, Otis. This isn't...You're not just my little whore that I'm keeping in secret."

"W...What am I then?"

Slowly, Cutter stroked down his arm, taking his hand and entwining their fingers. "Mine."

Slowly, deeply, he kissed Otis. Finally breaking away, he sighed. "You got me feelin' some kinda way, kid." He pushed a strand of hair behind Otis's ear. "God, you're incredible...So beautiful."

"First handful of times I been told that, too..."

"There's no way they told you you were ugly, too..."

Otis's silence answered his question.

"Were they fuckin' blind. Look at you. God, just look at you. Your eyes are gorgeous...You have a handsome face...a fucking amazing body...which, I know is a new development, but still...your hair..."

"Didn't have hair back then."

"What?"

"Mom kept it shaved off so I would look sickly instead of albino, until you got close to me. They didn't let anybody get close to me."

"Oh no..." Cutter pushed Otis's hair back along his crown, stopping when Otis flinched and jerking his hand away. "A...Are those scars?"

"Yeah...When you're not careful with a straight razor...it hurts."

"Oh, Jesus..." He kissed the scar he has just jarred. "I'm sorry...I didn't know...Did I hurt you?"

"Been healed a long time, but they still hurt sometimes...S'alright."

"I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry..."

Otis chuckled. "It's okay. I've been battered around enough times to have _something_ wrong with me you're bound to hurt me some time."

"But I don't want to."

"That's all that matters."


	9. Chapter 9

Otis slumbered soundly beside Cutter the first night he stayed after making love.

He held the smaller man closely, snuggling into him and kissing his shoulder. He was perfectly content, but surprised Otis was actually willing to stay. Considering he was as skittish as he usually was, Cutter was sure he was wary about sleeping in strange environments. Especially beside another person.

He whimpered slightly, eyebrows knitting together. "No...Daddy..."

"Oh, hon..." Cutter gently stroked his face. "He can't hurt you anymore..."

"Nn...Please...Daddy no...No that hurts...Please..."

He gently kissed Otis's forehead. "Please wake up... Please."

"Daddy! No! I...All I wanted was a hug! Please!"

Cutter sighed, sitting up and taking Otis's hand.

"Please...Daddy I just want to be loved...That's all I wanted...You said...if I lost weight...You would love me...You would tell me you love me. Please...daddy..."

"No...No. Otis..."

He let out a heart-wrenching scream, struggling against Cutter fiercely.

"Shh! It's okay. It's okay."

"NO! DADDY NO!" He screamed, still struggling, kicking Cutter and almost tossing him out of bed.

"It's okay! Otis, wake up! WAKE UP!" He grabbed him by the shoulders, shaking him.

"NO!" He left one final shriek before he opened his eyes, gasping for air.

"Hey, shhhh, shhhh. It's okay. It's okay. It's me. It's your big teddy bear."

"John..."

"Yeah, it's me." He stroked Otis's face. "It's alright. You're safe. You're safe with me."

"I...Fuck...Goddammit. FUCK!"

"Otis, it's okay. It's okay."

"No, fuck...I...I've gotta leave I..."

"Why? No. What?"

"I can't...I can't..."

"You can't leave you're buck-ass naked and you can't fuckin' drive at night."

Otis jerked his jeans up to his hips and slammed the door, sprinting down the stairs.

"Otis!" He tried to follow, but he heard Otis's car starting, and knew it was too late.

That morning, Cutter arrived at the shop early, eagerly waiting for Otis to arrive. He desperately hoped he had arrived home safely. Albinos typically suffered from vision loss, and Otis was no exception. He couldn't see well at night, and almost never drove once the sun went down, unless he had to.

Relief wasn't the proper word for what he felt when Otis walked through the door.

"Otis! Oh my god." He sprinted- an activity that didn't cross his mind often- to the door and scooped him up into a hug. "You're safe. Little angel you're safe." He pulled away from him, examining the handsome face before him. "You didn't sleep..."

Otis shook his head. "No..."

"What's wrong? Why did you run away like that?"

He shook his head once more.

"You don't have to be embarrassed. You don't have to be ashamed...Why would you be?"

"I'm still haunted by them. After all these years..."

"I wouldn't expect you not to be. You went through some horrible, awful things. and you never got to deal with them."

"I...I..."

"Listen...That doesn't change anything. Okay. Doesn't make you weak. Doesn't make you pitiful. I still feel the same about you." He tipped Otis's chin up to look him in the eyes. "But I am pissed that you up and left last night. How did I know you got home safely? You can't drive at night. You could have had an accident and died alone and then what would I do?"

"W...What...? I..."

"I would lose you...What would I do then?"

"You'd be fine."

"No, I wouldn't..." He sighed. "You left your shirt and boots last night. They're in the back."

"I'm sorry..."

"For what?"

"For leaving...For worrying you...A...Are you upset?"

"Yes. I was upset. I was worried."

Otis flinched away. "A-are you mad? Are you going to hit me?"

"No! Of course not. Of course not." He kissed Otis's forehead. "I'm not going to ever hit you." He smiled down at him. "But I do know something you've been hiding."

Otis cocked his head. "What?"

"The tattoo designs. In your sketch book. Why didn't you say anything? You know I have a machine."

He shrugged. "I...I really want it, but..."

"But what?"

"It's going to hurt like a bitch..."

"So?"

"I...Don't react to pain all that well anymore it...Makes me...Uh...Makes me think of when...It was different."

"What do you m- ohhhh."

"I'm just...I really want it. But..."

"But you're scared."

"Not fuckin' scared."

"Anxious, then. You're worried you'll freak out and you'll have half a skull bat on your chest and you won't be able to finish it."

"Does...It really hurt as bad as most people think it does?"

"No. Hell no."

"...What does it feel like?"

"It...feels like needles...But...Ehh...Not really."

"That's helpful."

"It's not as bad as you'd think."

Otis spent days debating and worrying and fretting. He wanted the tattoo badly enough to sketch it. Multiple times. And to refine it. And refine it again.

He also dwelled on the nightmare incident. Cutter reassured him over and over again that it didn't change the way he felt about him, but something gnawed at him.

"Hey, little angel." Cutter wrapped his arms around Otis from behind, squeezing him.

"Hn!"

"I've got something to tell you."

"What's that?"

He spun Otis around, smiling. "I love you."

"W...What?"

"I love you."

"Don't fuck around, Cutter. Don't use those if you don't fuckin' mean 'em, goddammit. I told you. Don't you remember that's what that dream was about? Or did you already forget?"

"Otis, no. I'm not fucking around. I do love you. I love you, little angel."

"No you fuckin' don't!"

"Yes, I do, you idiot." He kissed Otis roughly, pulling him flush against his body. "I love you. Stop arguing with me. I can't...I don't know how to prove it to you."

Otis paused, mouth agape. "I...You really...You do?"

"Yes. I do. And I know you love me, too. I don't expect you to say it. I know it's hard for you. But I know you do. And that's okay."

Otis nodded, smiling. "Y...You said...You said it...and you mean it..."

"Yes, I do mean it." He pulled him close again. "I love you, Otis." He kissed him slowly and passionately.

"Thank you..."

"You love me too."


	10. Chapter 10

Otis whimpered in Cutter's arms, eyebrows knit together.

"Nooo..." He fidgeted, trying to pull away. "Daddy stop..."

Awakened by his movements, Cutter pulled him close again. "Hey, shh little angel. Shhh."

"Daddy...?"

"No, sweetheart. It's me. It's Cutter. Your big teddy bear. It's okay."

"John..." He muttered. "My John..."

"Yes. Your John, baby."

Otis was silent for a while, and Cutter found himself dozing off again.

"Noooo..."

"Shh, baby-"

"I don't like olives...No..."

"Oh for christ sake..." He squeezed Otis tightly, nuzzling into him.

The next morning, Cutter poured Otis a mug of coffee as he descended the stairs. Cutter had to thank whatever God there was that Otis had decided to come down shirtless, his sweatpants hanging low on his hips.

He whistled, smirking. "Now that is a sight to start my morning."

Snorting and rolling his eyes, Otis took a sip of coffee.

"I'll tell you how fucking gorgeous you are until you believe it."

"It's a subjective opinion. You wanna get laid, so you will tell me that."

"It's not subjective, Otis. You should see how women look at you."

"Mm. Whatever."

"So you don't like olives, huh?"

Squinting, Otis took another sip of coffee. "I...Do...But where the fuck did that come from?"

"Did you know you're a talker when you sleep?"

"Huh?"

"You were talking about how you don't like olives last night after I shushed you out of a nightmare."

"Oh jesus...I don't know where that came from."

Cutter shrugged. "I don't either. But it was cute."

"Mm."

"Oh, come on. Don't be all sour because I called you cute." He wrapped an arm around Otis's waist and kissed his cheek.

"Cute isn't what you say when you want me." Otis wiggled his eyebrows.

"Oh, goddamn." Cutter moaned. "No, you're too goddamn sexy for that." He pulled Otis close again, resting his palm in the small of his back and kissing his head. "I love you."

Otis rested his head on Cutter's collarbone. "Mm-hm."

Cutter chuckled. "I'll take it."

That night, Cutter could hardly keep his hands off of Otis as he tried to open the door to his home.

"Goddammit Otis stop lookin' at me like that you're making me distracted!"

"This...This is just my face..."

"You're giving me 'fuck me' eyes! I'm tryin'!"

"No...I'm...Really not."

Cutter threw the door open and shoved Otis inside. Once he had gained his bearings, Cutter kissed him, arm around his waist, the other hand groping his ass.

"Hnnn...Cutter..." Otis whined.

"You used to hate that..."

"Not when it's you. Never when it's you..."

"Mm...Honey, what do you want tonight?" Cutter murmured into Otis's neck.

"You..." He moaned.

"Oh, but how do you want it, baby?"

"Why don't you take me upstairs and you'll find out, John."

Cutter flipped Otis over his shoulder and carried him up the stairs, depositing him on the bed unceremoniously. Otis let out a startled grunt, then sat upright, licking his lips. "Alright. Tell me how you want it honey. I'll do it any way you like."

"Mm...So willing to spoil me tonight...But I have something different in mind."

"What's that, little angel?"

Otis pulled Cutter to the bed, wrestling him around so that he was sitting on it, legs off of the side, and got down on his knees in front of him.

"Otis...You don't...Have to do this..."

"Why not?" Otis asked, kissing Cutter's rotund stomach.

"Hnn...Won't it...remind you...of..."

"No. It's you. You're not forcing me. I want to."

"You...W...Want to? Nn...Goddamn kid...I..."

"What'sa matter, old man? Am I distracting you?"

"Y...Yeah..."

Otis chuckled, pulling Cutter's slightly erect member out of his pants. "Ohh, is this all I get?" Otis licked Cutter's shaft, whimpering. "Mm..."

"H...hnn...Honey..."

"What, John?"

He whimpered, pushing Otis's hair away from the crown of his head gently. "What a sight..."

"Aaah, there we go. I was getting a little offended, John."

Cutter gasped as Otis took him into his mouth, tilting his head back and sighing. "Ohhhh honey..."

"Hmm?" Otis hummed around his cock.

Cutter let out a surprised squeak. "Do...You h-have...any idea...how long I've...F-fantasized...about this?"

Otis looked up, making eye contact with Cutter fleetingly before he closed his eyes again.

"Ohhhh my god..."

Watching his white hair bob up and down, pleasuring him, Cutter realized Otis, too, was moaning.

"Hn...You like that baby? Huh? You like how I taste?"

Otis whimpered, and Cutter saw him grinding his hips on the mattress's side. Anything to feel friction on his groin.

"Oh, honey you just wait and I'll show you somethin' you can get off on. Don't think I'd leave you hang-" He let out a low growl as Otis went deeper, swallowing around him.

It wasn't long until Cutter's whimpers and moans became outright shrieks of pleasure as he began to come close to releasing.

"Otis! Otis god, I-I...Please...I'm close..." Expecting Otis to stop and let Cutter finish himself, he was shocked when Otis just kept going, staring Cutter down as he swallowed Cutter's seed.

Otis stood, starting away from Cutter, who rose abruptly and wrapped his arms around Otis's middle.

"Where're you goin' huh?"

"Clean up..."

"Ohhh, don't I get to see this pretty picture?" He asked, lightly stroking Otis's chest, hand under his shirt. "Come on, honey. Don't you want a little treat, too?" He reached to Otis's groin, cheered to find Otis was still hard. "Ohh, I know you do."

"Mm...John..."

"Come on, baby. Come back to bed."

Otis allowed himself to be pulled back to the bed by Cutter, who slowly undressed himself, then Otis.

"Lie on your stomach."

"John, can't we-"

"I'm not going to fuck you right this second. I'm going to rub you down."

Otis obeyed, startling slightly when Cutter straddled him.

"It's alright." He began kneading Otis's taught muscles. "It's just me. That feel good?"

"Mm-hm..."

"Your shoulders are really tight..."

"Hurt today..."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I always hurt. if I complained every time you'd begin to hate me for it."

He sighed. "Sweetheart..."

"Ooh...Right there...Right there." Otis growled as Cutter dug deeper into his shoulder.

"Think you'll let me touch your low back, huh?"

"M...Maybe..."

"What happened there, Otis?"

"Don't really know...Probably just...repeat beatings and having my ass in the air most of my childhood..."

"Honey..."

"I don't say it because I want sympathy. I tell you because you asked. I hate that pity me shit..."

"Alright. Alright." He paused, simply appreciating the image before him for a moment. "You know nothing like that will ever happen to you again, right?"

"How do you know...?"

"Because I won't let it. And I would never do that to you."

"I don't need you to protect me, Cutter."

"I didn't say you did. God knows you've gotten along without me. But I will."

Otis fell silent as Cutter began to work down his back.

"You want me to stop?"

"No...You can keep going..."

"Oh god...Otis you're knotted like old junk pine down here..."

Otis whimpered in pain beneath him, a sound that shattered him.

"Can you just let me work out these knots? You'll feel better, I promise...It's going to hurt but it'll feel better..."

"I'll try..."

"Okay. Just relax. Or...Try to. Just breathe."

"Hn!" Otis clenched his fists, shutting his eyes tightly and gritting his teeth as Cutter dug into his flesh.

"I know. I know. Shhhhh."

Otis let out a long growl of pain, "Aaaaaahhh...Johnnnnn..."

"I'm sorry, I know it hurts but just trust me..."

"Cutter!" Otis shrieked beneath him, clenching the bed sheets and moaning in agony.

"Ok. Ok. I'm done...I'm done..."

"Fuck..."

"It's okay..."

"Thought you wanted to spoil me tonight...?" Otis grumbled, red peering out around the tangle of sheets.

"If you're still up for it, I will."

"Goddamn better..."

Cutter chuckled. "Alright, well, come here. Straddle me. I'm gonna let you ride me."

"How's that spoiling me? I'm doin' all the work."

"Not if you face me. Come on."

"Hnn...Alright." Otis straddled the clown, shuddering as he lowered himself onto his erect manhood.

Cutter gently cupped Otis's cheek, stroking the apple lightly with his thumb. "Hey, there, handsome." He kissed the albino, slipping his tongue slowly passed Otis's teeth, exploring the younger man's mouth, letting his hands wander the pale chest before him.

Otis whimpered in pleasure this time, a sound Cutter was overjoyed to hear in light of what he had been hearing.

"Come on, baby. Don't be shy. Ride the horse."

As Otis began a rhythm, Cutter began to compliment, raising his hips to meet Otis's on the downward. "Oh, god, John..."

"I told you, hon. Told you I'd spoil you." He wrapped his arms around Otis, who whimpered in pleasure again.

"John...Johnny..." Otis mumbled against his chest, too far gone to speak coherently.

"What, little angel?"

"F...Feels...go-AH!" Otis let out a yelp- a mixture of surprise and pleasure as Cutter rolled his hips into him more forcefully, burying himself deeper. Pulling away from Cutter's embrace, he began to move his hips in unison again, raking his fingers through his hair, grappling with the sensations as Cutter's hands ghosted along his chest once again. Every thrust was a moan or a gasp released from Otis, and Spaulding loved every second of it.

When Otis finally screamed and fell limp on top of Cutter, who finished quickly and rolled out of him, he curled up into the older man's side, panting.

"Well?"

"I think...That's my new favorite..."

"Oh yeah?"

"I like it when you just touch me..."

"I know you do, little angel." He kissed the younger man. "I told you I'd spoil you."

"You always keep your word, old man."


	11. Chapter 11

_Eyyy shout out to Mason (Sketchtis69 on instagram. Check out his artwork. It's bomb af) for giving me this headcanon and letting me use it._

"Otis, will you just let me give you the tattoo. It won't hurt that bad."

Otis startled, his pencil scratching across the paper and narrowly avoiding the sketch.

"Oh! I'm sorry!"

"S'alright. I missed it."

"Ok...Good."

"I...I..."

"I can tell you really want it."

"I do..."

"What does it mean to you?"

Otis glanced up at him, meeting his gaze fleetingly. "Th...That my body is finally my own...That I'm in control of it now."

"You feel like you finally do?"

Otis nodded sheepishly.

"That's great!" He pulled the small albino into a hug, squeezing him. "I'm so proud of you!"

"W...what?"

"Oh, come on Otis I've told you that before."

"...Doesn't make it any less special to me..."

"I'm more proud of you now than I was then. Look how far you've come. My god, Otis. You wouldn't let me touch you before."

"...Didn't know how good touch could feel."

"I know, sweetheart. I'm so, so proud of how far you've come. And I'm so happy for you that you finally feel like your body is yours."

Otis smiled softly, leaning into Cutter, who kissed his head.

"I love you." He sighed. "Hey, how about this. I'll show you that it doesn't hurt as bad as you think, okay?"

"How?"

"I'll let you tattoo me."

"What?"

"Come on. Give me a tattoo. I trust you."

"Cutter..."

"Come on. It'll be alright."

"Ok..."

Otis's mind was a blur as Cutter set up the machine, setting the supplies out.

"Alright. I want you to tattoo my knuckles. Pick a word, a phrase whatever. If I don't like it I'll deal with it or cover it up."

"You won't get mad?"

"No. It's a tattoo. What do I have to be mad about?"

"If you don't like it..."

"Otis. I'm not worried about it. If I had any reservations whatsoever, I wouldn't let you do it."

"What if I hurt you?"

"Otis."

"Okay...Okay...Close your eyes."

"What?"

"Close your eyes."

"Alright..." Cutter smirked, holding his hands out for Otis to work with.

He heard the machine start up, just the way he had taught Otis. He worked for a while, and Cutter could almost taste the concentration.

"What're you writing?"

"What I want to say, but I can't..."

"Huh?"

Otis put the machine down, tapping Cutter's hand to let him know he could look.

"...Love..." Cutter looked up at Otis, wide-eyed. "Love."

"Mm-hm."

"Y...You love me."

"Told you. I just have trouble sayin' it."

"It's okay. I know you do. You show me every day." He kissed Otis lightly on the lips.

"Some day I'll say it..."

"Don't rush yourself. For now, I have a permanent reminder."

"Mm-hm."

"You sappy, lame ass." Cutter teased. "You really are just a big mush, aren't you?"

"Fuck you..." Otis grumbled, picking up the machine again. "Gimme your other hand."

"What're you gonna write? Otis? That's another four letter word."

"Shut up..." Otis worked for a few moments, then put the machine down again.

"Hate? Awwww, come on, little angel. I was only teasing you."

"Mmph. Fuck you."

"But see? It doesn't hurt that bad. And if you want yours that badly, you can sit through it. I'll give you breaks if you need them, you know that."

"Fine. Fine."

"Alright. Let me make a stencil and we'll get started. Don't take your shirt off yet."

"Why?"

"You'll distract me."

Otis sat patiently as Cutter prepared himself, then lay on the coffee table in front of the couch.

"You ready?"

"Y-Yeah..."

"It'll be okay. Just try to relax. And remember: I love you."

Otis nodded, letting out a calming breath. Cutter began to trace the outline, slowly, monitoring Otis's body language.

"How ya doin', little angel?"

"I'm alright."

"Hows the pain?"

"Not...as bad as I thought...Still hurts."

"I didn't tell you it wouldn't, did I?"

"No..."

"Okay. Let me know if you need a break, okay?"

"Mm..." Otis closed his eyes, trying to relax the tension in his muscles.

Once Cutter had completed the skull, he stopped for a moment. "Alright. How are you doing?"

"I'm okay..."

"You're about a third of the way done."

"Hm?"

"I finished the skull first in case you had to stop. That way, if you did, it would still look finished."

"Good idea."

"Think you can make it through?"

"Mm-hm."

"Alright. Just let me know, okay?"

Cutter noticed a decrease in tension as he moved away from Otis's sternum.

"That not as bad?"

"No...Not once you're off the bone."

"No. And you have a nice muscular chest, too. I love your chest so much."

Otis smiled softly.

"I was going to say it's my favorite part of you. But that's kind of hard to tell between your face and your ass."

He rolled his eyes. "How sweet of you."

"I speak the truth."

"O-Ow...Cutter...Let me up."

"You okay?" He pulled away, machine still buzzing.

"Yeah..." He smirked. "I just needed a kiss."

"Oh, you brat." Cutter smiled, kissing him. "You're spoiled."

"But I'm your favorite."

"That you are. That you are." Cutter worked for a while longer, then pulled away, wiping the last of the excess ink and blood off of Otis's skin. "Alright, little angel. Go ahead and take a look."

Otis hurried to the bathroom mirror to look at the artwork now placed lovingly on his skin.

Cutter followed, chuckling. He had to smile at the sight before him.

Otis beamed in the mirror, eyes focused on his tattoo.

"Don't touch it now, if you haven't washed your hands. You'll get it infected." He stepped forward, wrapping his arms around Otis's waist. "What do you think?"

Otis simply nodded. "I'm my own now."

"Yes you are, sweetheart. Yes you are."


	12. Chapter 12

"Otis, when's your birthday?"

"I told you, around Christmas."

"Yeah, I know but when?"

"Doesn't matter."

"Otis I swear to fucking God if you don't tell me when it is every customer that comes in here will hear me singing happy birthday to you for two weeks before and after Christmas."

"Jesus christ it's December 23rd. For fuck sake don't do that to me, Cutter."

"Well, now I don't have to."

"Fucker."

As December 23rd crept upon them, Otis began to become increasingly nervous. He hated his birthday. Had never meant anything other than trouble. He knew it would be different, but there was still a nagging anxiety in the back of his mind.

It was December 22nd, and Cutter had closed the shop. Being so close to Christmas, Otis didn't think anything of it. No one would really be stopping in, anyway. Besides. It wasn't his birthday yet.

Cutter had told him to stop by the house, so he obliged, knocking to announce his presence before bursting in, in case Cutter had bought a whore.

"Hey, little angel!" Cutter called.

Otis chuckled. "Hey, man."

"I've got a surprise for you."

"Oh, yeah?..." Otis quirked an eyebrow, his voice shaking.

"Mm-hm."

"And why is that?"

"Well, I knew Eve would want you for your birthday. And so would Baby. So, I planned for today to be my celebration for you."

"Cutter-"

"Ah ah ah. Listen. It's nothing big or expensive. Just...Time with you. Okay? Am I allowed to do that?"

Otis nodded. "Y-Yeah..."

"Okay. Like I said it's nothing big. Just...For you. Okay?" He took Otis's hand. "Listen. I know your birthday was always...A trick. Whatever you dared to ask for was turned into something horrible. I know what happened on your seventh birthday..."

Otis hung his head in shame.

"No, no. Come on." He tilted Otis's head back up to meet his eyes. "I want to make your birthday a happy day for you again. After all. Your birthday was one of the best days of my life."

Otis quirked an eyebrow. "How so?"

"Because you were born."

Otis felt his face redden, surprised at himself.

Cutter laughed. "So come on, let me show you what I set up."

"Oh, god Cutter-"

"Relax. Like I said. Nothing big." He drug Otis into the living room, standing proudly to the side "Ta-da!"

Otis stood with his mouth agape at the scene. Cutter had somehow rigged a few large blankets up as a tent over the television. "What the fuck?"

"Look inside."

Obeying, Otis peeked inside the tent.

"I brought the mattress down from upstairs and some blankets and pillows and made us a little nest. You love cuddling and just being loved on so much I figured I would just give you all you wanted today."

"What smells so good?"

"Well, you've got a wicked sweet tooth. So I baked us some cookies and some more of your favorites and they're in there too."

"John..."

"I figured whatever you want to do today. Cuddle, watch movies, watch tv, have sex if you wanted to, take a nap, get a back rub. Whatever you want. It's your day."

Otis's eyes twinkled with joy and excitement as he stared back at Cutter.

"Go up and get some comfortable clothes on. I'll be waiting.

Otis bolted up the stairs to change into his sweatpants, foregoing a shirt, and sprinted back down, throwing himself onto the mattress beside Cutter.

"I take it I did good?"

"It's perfect." Otis smiled, cuddling up to him instantaneously, a blanket around his shoulders.

"There is one thing you have to do today, though."

"What?"

"You have to eat. I baked all your favorites and you have to eat them."

"Okay..."

"And you have to keep it down. No purging. It's your birthday. You deserve to have a treat."

"It's not my birthday till tomorrow."

"Otis."

He sighed. "Fine..."

"You're going to enjoy today. Don't worry about anything, little angel."

"Okay..." He nuzzled into Cutter's chest, watching the television out of the corner of his eye.

"This channel okay?"

"Mm-hm."

"I love you little angel."

Otis smiled up at him.

"Yeah, I know you do."

For a few hours, they watched TV, curled up to one another, before Otis started to get a little frisky.

"Hmm? What do you want, babe?"

"I want you..." He whimpered.

"Your wish is my command today."

"I want you to let me ride you."

Cutter smirked. " I love that."

Otis straddled Cutter, grinding their hips together until he screamed, pushing his hair away from his eyes. The whimpers that Cutter got out of Otis were absolutely intoxicating and his head spun as Otis curled up to him once more, munching on a chocolate chip cookie.

Soon after he finished his snack, Otis had dozed off on Cutter's chest, snoring ever so lightly. Cutter stroked his hair, kissing his head.

"Happy birthday dear Otis. Happy birthday to you." He murmured. Otis raised his head inquisitively. "Nothin, baby. Go back to sleep."

"Hnn...Give me another one of them cookies." He dumbly reached for whatever Cutter handed him, smiling and cooing in delight when it was another chocolate chip.

"Taste good?"

"Mmm..."

"You're like a kid in a candy store."

"This is so fucking perfect. I could live like this."

"No you couldn't you're too damn fidgety."

"You're right...But this is perfect."

"Hey, there's the Munsters."

"Yes. As if this couldn't get any fuckin' better." Otis settled on Cutter's chest again. "Hey, why ain't you touchin' me as much today?"

"Do you want me to?"

"I love it when you touch me..."

"Okay. Like I said. Your day." He smiled, wrapping his arms around Otis. He lay and stroked his hair until Otis had fallen asleep again, chuckling. "Oh, you goof."

"Hn?" Otis whimpered, sitting up right.

"What's the matter?"

"I wanna ride you again."

"Alright. Then hop on the saddle and let's go."

By the end of the day, they had had sex 8 times; snuggled; Cutter had rubbed his back; Otis had completely curled up to Cutter, smashing himself as closely as he could to the clown to show him affection; and Otis had gotten more kisses than he could count.

"I love you so much, little angel. I love you so much."

"It shows. In everything you do for me."

"I hope you know you're worth your weight in gold little angel. I love you so much."


	13. Chapter 13

"Otis? What're those bruises?"

"Huh?"

"You got bruises...Is someone hittin' on you again? I'll fuckin' kill them!"

Otis chuckled. "No, Baby." He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, squeezing for a moment before releasing her. "I'm fine."

"What're they from?"

 _Your father fucked me last night. Hard. And I loved every second of it. And he bit me. And gave me hickeys. And it hurt but it didn't. It felt fucking amazing._ "Uh..."

"You get into a fight?"

"No..."

"What happened?"

"Uhh..."

"Ohhhh you got a girl last night."

"What?"

"You got laid!"

"Er...Yeah."

"Don't be shy about it! Is she someone we're gonna get to meet?"

 _He. And you know him. Quite well._ "Ah, no. Just..." He shrugged. "Just a good time last night."

"Hey, that's great! I'm happy for you!"

Otis shrugged. "I mean..."

"There's somethin' you ain't tellin' 'me." She dared.

A chill ran up Otis's spine. God, she couldn't know. She couldn't. "No. I just don't...Want to tell you about my sex life..."

"Aww...But I wanna know all the gory details!"

"No. Absolutely not."

"Otiiiiissss."

 _I really don't want to tell you how I rode your dad's dick like a fuckin' race horse last night. Or how he made me cum so hard I thought I was bleeding. Or how he kissed me and I swore I tasted what love really felt like for the first time. Or how now, there's bruises on my thighs from his hands, but he'd never hurt me._ "No."

"You can't be modest!"

Otis laughed. "About some things, believe it or not, I am."

Baby sighed, cocking her head. "Otis, can I give you a hug?"

"What?"

She slowly approached him, wrapping her arms around him gently, burying her face in his chest. "I just love you so much. I'm so glad you're here and you're doing better."

"Yeah? Well...I'm glad to be here, Angel Baby."

"I just love my big brother so much!" She squeezed him, then gasped. "Oh my god..."

"What?"

"Your ribs..."

Otis sighed. "Uh...Yeah...I've...Uhm...I've had my ribs broken a lot."

"I'm so sorry..."

"No. I'm just telling you. I don't want sympathy."

"Mm...Whatever..." She nuzzled his chest. "I love you I love you I love you!"

He chuckled once again. "Yeah, you too, Baby."

Baby smiled hugely. "You look so good. I'm so happy you gained weight and got healthy."

"Yeah? I'm just thankful for you guys..."

"I told you I knew you'd be handsome when you got healthy." Baby winked up at him.

"Don't be gettin' any ideas now, Angel Baby."

"I know..." She sighed, pouting. "You're too old for me. I know..."

"Exactly."

"You're lookin' goddamn good though. Mm." She smirked, walking away.

It wasn't long before the compliments were turned into deafening cries of the opposite in Otis's mind.

 _You're fat. You're lazy. You're useless. You're ugly. You're fucking fat._

He retched into the toilet, coughing and sputtering.

 _How can you think he loves you? Look at what you were. You're no different from that piece of shit daddy cock sucking mongrel you always were. You miserable fuck. No one could ever love you, you freak piece of shit._

Otis stood, cleaning himself up before he faced his family.

His nightmares became increasingly worse once again.

It was a week until he got a solid rest, and even then, it wasn't a peaceful one.

Cutter noticed his deteriorating condition, but was hesitant to bring it up. He knew Otis would vehemently deny that anything was going wrong, but by the way Otis looked when he walked into the shop six weeks after he purged again for the first time, he knew something had to be done.

Otis had dark circles under his eyes, and he looked gaunt once again. Instead of the light that had filled his eyes he looked dead, lifeless and spacey. Hollow.

"Otis..."

"Mornin'..." He greeted, feigning a smile. God, it hurt him to know that Otis was acting for him.

Cutter followed him into the back of the shop, watching as he sat down and ran his fingers through his hair, sighing. He sat up, closing his eyes and seeming to lose himself for a moment. He slowly approached him, gently placing a hand on his cheek. Otis startled, eyes flying open and letting out a pitiful gasp. "Shhh, it's me."

"Mm...I know it's you..." Another fake smile.

"Otis...What's goin' on with you?"

"Huh? I'm fine."

"Little angel, you're not. Look in a mirror."

"I'm fine."

"No...Goddammit Otis stop it."

"I just...go through this..."

"Go through what? Talk to me! Tell me what's going on so I can help you. I want to be there for you; you've fought alone long enough."

"I fought alone before. I'll be fine again."

"Don't you get tired of being so goddamn strong all the time?"

Otis peered up at him.

"How long it been since you slept?"

"Uhhh...'bout an hour ago."

"A good night's sleep, jackass."

"...Over a month."

"How long since you ate?"

"Ate this mornin'."

"Alright. And did you keep it down?"

"Yes."

"Have you been keeping your food down?"

"Yes."

"Bullshit."

"Fuck, Cutter, I-"

"I know you been hurtin' yourself. Don't lie to me."

"Ain't had a razor to myself for that reason for years."

"Don't need that to hurt yourself."

"John, please...Just...I'm fine."

"No you're NOT! Look at you! You look like a goddamn raccoon who's been digging through the trash for weeks and ain't found shit! You've lost weight. I know you have. You don't want me the same way you used to. I don't know what's wrong and I can't fix it."

"Well fucking excuse me for not wanting you the same way, fuckin' asshole. I'm sorry I'm not riding your dick well enough anymore!"

"That's what you picked out of that conversation?!"

"And I'm sorry I'm not fucking PRETTY enough for you anymore, cock sucker! Here, FUCK you!" Otis threw a rag at Spaulding. "You make the fuckin' display!" He stormed out, slamming the door behind him.

Spaulding sighed, knowing he would have to wait until Otis cooled down to confront him again.

As he twisted the keys in the lock to his home, he felt the hair raise on the back of his neck. Someone was in his home.

Flicking on the light, he was relieved to find Otis sitting on the couch, fiddling with his hands.

"Hey, little angel."

"Hey..."

"Where've you been all day?"

"...My spot."

"What?"

"I've got a place I go to when I'm havin' a rough time. Helps me clear my head..." He replied, not looking at the clown, still, fidgeting with his nails.

"Oh yeah? Where is it?"

"Look out cliff on the top of the mountain. Went there a lot when I first came here."

"What did you need to clear your head of today?"

Otis swallowed heavily, pausing. "You know...How I flinched when you touched me today?"

"Yeah. You haven't done that in a long time."

Otis nodded. "You...I didn't hear you. I always hear you. And...H-He...He used to sneak up on me...And then do whatever he wanted. I never heard him coming. I was always awake. Always so alert but I never heard him coming until it was too late."

Cutter listened intently, unmoving.

"I'm so...I'm so afraid that he's still around...That he'll find me and do what he used to do to me...I-I...I couldn't...I couldn't do it again. I would never survive...I don't know how I did back then...But...I-I..." His voice began to shake and Cutter placed a calming had on his knee.

"Shhhh... It's okay. Go ahead."

"W...What if it wasn't...What if I did want it...A-And...I was just...being a little whiney bitch all those years. What if I enjoyed it and just...I had convinced myself I hadn't...My body reacted to pleasure...Not to pain...What if it wasn't..."

"What if it wasn't what, rape?"

Otis flinched at the word.

"It was rape, Otis. Your father raped you. There is no way you enjoyed that or wanted it. I don't care what you have going on in your mind."

"B...But...I came...Every time I came. Except one night, when he and his friend got drunk and just...Used me over and over and over until I didn't anymore."

Cutter turned away, unable to face the horror Otis described to him.

"But I did...Until I couldn't...What if-"

"Otis, you didn't enjoy it. You didn't want it. What little boy wants that?"

"You didn't. I promise you, you didn't. That's just...how our bodies react. It's the nerves up there or somethin'. But...Otis, what happened to you wasn't your fault. You know that, right? Right?"

He fell silent.

"It wasn't your fault. Absolutely not. Is...Is this what you're so upset about?"

Sighing, Otis nodded. "What if it wasn't abuse. What if it wasn't...What if it wasn't rape...Then..."

"Otis it WAS. Unless you specifically said 'yes, daddy. fuck me in the ass.' it was rape."

Otis cringed at the crassness of his statement, but nodded. "Okay..."

"That's why I always wait for you." He pulled Otis close to him, kissing him lightly. "I'd never do that to you."

Otis nuzzled into Cutter, wrapping his arms around him.

"Aww...Come here, little angel. I love you."


	14. Chapter 14

Cutter leaned in to Otis's ear, whispering.

"I'm going to love you tonight..."

"Mm? Yeah?"

"Mmhm."

"What're you gonna do to me?" Otis asked, trying to hold back his obvious arousal.

"How do you want it, little angel?"

"Rough."

"What?"

"I want it rough. Hard. Hot. I want you to hurt me."

"Little angel, I-"

"I would stop you. You know that."

"I don't know if I CAN hurt you..."

Abruptly turning, Otis claimed Cutter's lips. Fast, rough, forceful. He wrapped his hand around Cutter's neck, pulling him even closer.

Cutter pulled away as he heard the bell in the front of the shop ring.

"Later, little angel."

Otis smirked as he resumed his sculpture, knowing Cutter would be distracted the rest of the night.

Hours passed like days before Otis felt Cutter's hand reach around his front, groping him as he was pushed through Cutter's door.

"You sure about this?"

"Fuck me hard. Leave me with bruises. I'll tell you if I need you to stop."

Cutter slammed Otis against the wall, making air rush out of his lungs and a whimper escape passed his lips. The clown squeezed Otis's balls as he pinned Otis to the wall, kissing him.

"H...Hah!" Otis whimpered as Cutter squeezed with a little too much force. "J-John..."

"What?" He slammed Otis against the wall again. "You like it like this?" He ran one bear paw hand through Otis's hair, yanking at the roots.

"Mm..."

"You want me to choke you?"

"No. Just a little rough."

"Ok. Let's go." He threw Otis over his shoulder, carrying him upstairs and throwing him down onto the bed. "Take your clothes off."

"What?"

"Take your fucking clothes off."

Intrigued, Otis stripped. Watching as Cutter did the same.

"Mmm...Honey. God you look so delicious."

"What're you going to do about it?"

"I'll fuckin' show you." He crawled on top of Otis, grinding his hips into him. Otis whimpered beneath him. "Feel good?"

"Mm-hm..."

"I want to make you make those sounds, little angel."

"Oh, god please. Please."

Fisting Otis's hair, he jerked his head to the side and began kissing down his neck, making Otis jerk in alarm and whimper beneath him.

Cutter began to bite instead of kiss, leaving teeth marks on the pale flesh beneath him.

"Ah! John!" He wriggled beneath him, whimpering.

"If you don't hold still I'm going to have to hold you down."

"Please..."

Gathering Otis's wrists in one hand, Cutter restrained them above Otis's head.

"John...John...Harder...More..."

He began to leave large suckle marks on Otis's chest and stomach, biting around them for good measure. "I love you..." He murmured.

"Hnn..." Otis whimpered, arching his back. "John...Please..."

"Oh, you're so hard, baby...What do you want?"

"You. I want you. Please..."

"Are you gonna hold still for me?"

"Please...John..."

Pulling his knife from his bedside, Cutter drug the cool steel along Otis's flesh. The albino gasped, then swallowed heavily.

"I asked you a question. Are you going to hold still for me?"

"N...I c...can't..."

"Try harder."

"What're you gonna do to me?"

"Be good and you won't find out." He kissed Otis, dragging the knife along his collar bone.

"You were so bad today...Teasing me like that and then making me wait."

Otis panted beneath him. "Please..."

"I don't know. I'm going to punish you first."

"H...How?"

Digging the blunt end of the knife into Otis's skin, Cutter smirked as Otis's eyes widened.

"Now now. Be patient."

"I want you..."

"You teased me all day. I'm going to tease you a little bit, little angel." He caressed Otis's thigh with the blade, eyes locked with the albino's.

Otis winced, fidgeting. Concern crossed Cutter's face. "Arms are goin' numb..."

Cutter released him, and Otis smirked, caressing the clown's arms. "You fuckin' brat." He pinned Otis's arms by his side, earning a growl from the smaller man. "You tricked me."

"Wanted to touch you..." He murmured.

"Don't turn those fuckin' eyes up at me. Goddamn you can get whatever you want out of me you little fucker."

"So do what I want. Fuck me, John. I know you want to, too."

Cutter abruptly flipped Otis on his stomach, earning a startled yelp. Positioning himself behind him, Cutter grabbed a fistful of Otis's hair and jerked, making him whimper in pain and cringe.

"You like that?"

"God, yes..." He answered, shuddering beneath him. Cutter pulled on his hair once again. "Nn! John..."

"You're dying over there, aren't you? You're so ready."

"Please..."

Cutter drew back and slapped Otis on the ass, hard enough to leave a red mark. Otis growled in pain, glaring over his shoulder. Daring, Cutter smacked him again.

"Mother fucker..." Otis snarled.

"What was that?" Cutter wrenched the blonde locks again.

"Fucker!"

Cutter pounded into Otis, making him yelp in pain once again. The sound broke his heart, but Otis had wanted it...He had asked for this. In the moment, Cutter was incredibly turned on. But something in the back of his mind screamed for him to stop. He hated hearing those sounds come from his little angel. "That rough enough for you?"

"Harder...God...Harder!"

Pulling Otis's hair, he built a rough, choppy rhythm. Unable to keep going at that pace after a while, he had to slow down, but grabbed Otis by the torso, slamming him back onto his erection, leaving fingerprint bruises.

He heard Otis cum long before he was ready to, shuddering and whimpering beneath him.

"Little angel, you're never first."

Panting, Otis smirked over his shoulder. "I know..."

"Let me finish, yeah?"

Otis nodded, but stared back questioningly as Cutter flipped him over.

"I can't hurt you anymore. I can't..."

"I asked for it, John..."

"Let me love on you the way I want to." He kissed Otis, sweetly. Tenderly. He swore he heard the albino sigh contentedly. "I love you."

Cutter finished, getting Otis to cum once again before he had, loving him tenderly. Caressing his face and kissing him deeply as he thrust into him.

After they had cleaned up, Cutter straddled Otis's back as he lay on his stomach, dozing. Alarmed, Otis tried to twist underneath him, batting at his legs.

"Hey, it's me. It's me."

"Fuckin' DON'T fuckin' sneak up on me!"

"I know. I know I'm sorry. I thought you heard me."

"Mm..." Otis settled again. "What do you want?"

"I wanna rub you down. That okay?"

Otis purred beneath Cutter as he began to knead the younger man's shoulders. Bruises were already appearing on the alabaster skin, and it made Cutter's heart drop into his stomach. He had done that. He had hurt his little angel. He had made those bruises.

"I'm sorry..."

"Huh?" Otis peered over his shoulder.

"You're bruising...I'm sorry..."

"Cutter, I wanted it rough. Why're-"

"Because I never want to hurt you. Ever. I just...I hate that I made those bruises."

"I asked you to. That's different from...Whatever you're thinking of."

"I know...I just..."

"Stop feeling bad." Otis smirked. "I enjoyed it."

The clown guffawed. "I know you did."

"I don't...Want that every time, though."

"Oh thank God."

Otis chuckled. "I just wanted to know."

"Know what?"

"That not all rough sex is bad sex. That...My father doesn't own me anymore."

"He never did, little angel." Cutter planted a kiss on a white shoulder. "He never did."


	15. Chapter 15

He should have noticed.

He should have done something.

He should have noticed when Otis started to cough incessantly. But he brushed it off as a cold. Should have noticed him getting weaker by the day.

Now he stood, holding the phone, hands shaking. Baby had just called him.

 _"Daddy...Uhm...Otis won't be coming in to work today..."_

 _"Why's that? Lazy bastard." He laughed._

 _"He's...We had to take him to the hospital. Grampa can't manage him."_

 _A chill ran up his spine. "What?"_

 _"He's really sick, Daddy...And he's really scared...I don't know what to do."_

He hung up the phone, bolting to his truck and driving erratically to the hospital.

Baby met him at the door, eyes still red and teary. "Daddy!" She wrapped her arms around him.

"Shhhh...It's alright honey he'll be alright."

"He's got pneumonia...And it's bad...He...The doctors put a tube down his throat I-I..."

"It's okay, it's okay. Shh..." He stroked her back. "Can you take me to him?"

She nodded, whimpering and wiping her eyes.

The elevator ride seemed to take years. When he finally reached his room, Cutter desperately tried not to whimper at seeing his lover.

"You can come talk to him, Daddy. He's not awake...They had to sedate him."

"W...why?"

"He was too scared...Doesn't like strange people touchin' him, y'know..."

Otis lay lifeless in the bed, the white sheets hardly contrasting with his pale skin. Baby held his hand, stroking gentle circles in the soft flesh. His chest rose and fell mechanically, a machine assisting every breath.

"Otis...Daddy- I mean...Cutter is here. He came to see you."

"Hey, kid...You gotta pull through this, alright? You've had to fight harder before. Come on..."

They stayed for some time, watching him silently. Finally, he began to stir, squinting his eyes shut tighter.

"Hey. Come on Otis...It's us. It's Baby."

"Hey, can I have a few minutes alone with him?" Cutter asked, praying they wouldnt' ask why.

"Sure, daddy."

As they all left, Cutter settled beside Otis, taking his hand. "Hey, little angel. Hey come around for me, yeah? Come see me..."

Slowly, Otis turned his head toward him, red eyes still glazed.

"Hey, hon..." Cutter gently stroked the apple of Otis's cheek, smiling at him. "I bet you're feelin' awful, aren't you?"

No answer, just dumbly staring at him.

"I know. I know." He gently kissed Otis's forehead, still holding the smaller man's hand. "It's okay. I'm right here."

As he pulled away, Otis seemed more cognizant.

"Hey, baby." Cutter smiled. "There's my love." He stroked Otis's hair.

He swore he saw a small smile. And he had to hold back tears.

"Listen to me. You've gotta calm down, okay? You've gotta relax. No one here is going to hurt you. I know you're scared and I know you're in pain, but they can't keep sedating you."

Otis's eyebrows knit together.

"I know. I know. But not everyone is going to hurt you. They won't hurt you here, you know that, right?"

Cutter looked down at their hands entwined, as Otis feebly squeezed his.

"I know you're scared. But they won't hurt you like that. Okay? I promise. I promise. I always keep my promises, right?"

 _You can't promise for other people_ Otis thought.

"You're going to be okay. I know you will. You've had to fight off a lot worse than this." He cupped his hand over Otis's cheek. Otis closed his eyes and leaned into the warm touch. "I love you, little angel. I love you so much."

Again, Otis feebly squeezed his hand.

He smiled softly. "I know you do, too."

It seemed like decades before Otis could talk to him again. Every night, he would creep in after the rest of the family had left. Finally, after about a week, he found Otis sitting up in bed, tube out of his throat, trying to choke down dinner.

"Otis!" He jogged to the bedside, startling the albino. "Ooh, sorry sorry."

"S'alright. Hey, Cutter." Otis's voice was hoarse and soft, but God was Cutter glad to hear it.

"Ohhh look at you! You're finally sat up and can talk!"

"Barely talk..." He tried to clear his throat. "S'alright, though."

"When did they take you off the vent?"

"This morning." He moved to take another bite of food, grimaced, and pushed it aside.

"Hey, how much have you eaten?"

Otis shook his head. "Not much. But I'll puke if you make me eat that."

"Why?"

"Still...nauseous."

"Ok. I won't make you. Does anything sound good to you?"

He paused a moment. "Coffee, I guess."

"I'll go see if I can get you some." He abruptly stood, starting away.

"Cutter-" Otis sighed as he walked away, soon returning with a small pot of coffee in his hands.

"Here." He poured Otis a liberal cup, waiting for it to cool before he handed it to him. He watched Otis take a sip, they sigh contentedly. "Probably helps your throat too, don't it?"

Otis nodded.

"I'm so glad you're doing better. I love you, little angel."

Otis looked down a moment, then back up at Cutter. "I love you too, John..."

Cutter froze for a moment, processing what Otis had just said. "You...You just said..."

"I have...I just...couldn't bring myself to say it..."

Cupping Otis's cheek and kissing him sweetly, Cutter felt him smile against his lips.

He wrapped an arm around Otis's shoulders, settling halfway on the bed with him. Otis nuzzled into his neck, settling in his usual spot, sighing contentedly. "Perfect..."

Cutter kissed Otis's head. "Right where I wanna be." He squeezed Otis slightly, earning a disgruntled grumble.

"I still ache..."

"Sorry."


	16. Chapter 16

Cutter heard the moaning and screaming before he reached the front door.

 _Goddamn you, Otis. It's a good thing I live out in the middle of nowhere..._

Throwing open the door, hoping to alert his lover that he was here, he stalked through the threshold, hesitating a moment before traveling the stairs.

He was pleasantly surprised by the sight before him, He would pay to see that any day.

Otis was plowing into some poor girl, who screamed and moaned below him like she was having the absolute time of her life. Knowing Otis's size and girth, she probably was.

Neither of them had noticed Cutter standing in the doorway. Otis slowly reached with one hand and began to choke her, then stopped.

"Oh God yes baby do that again!" She wailed.

Seeing Otis dominate someone like that was driving him absolutely mad.

The Otis he knew was someone completely different from what other people saw. He was the broken man who wanted nothing more than to be loved by someone without paying a price. Who woke him up at two in the morning trying to wedge himself under the clown's arm. Who loved kisses. Absolutely adored them and any other kind of affection. Who could be put to sleep -or at least shut up- by playing with his hair.

To other people he emanated a serpentine power. He was an alpha, a definite leader and someone you shouldn't fuck with. He was smart, cunning and powerful. Dangerous.

The sound of Otis's orgasm brought him out of his reverie. His eyes snapped back to the scene before him. Otis craned over the woman, who Cutter now realized was handcuffed, and panting.

"Ohh baby yes that was so good." She arched her hips. "What else are you gonna do to me?"

Otis rose, pulling away from her and running his hand through his hair.

"Yeah, Otis. What else?" Cutter smirked, leaning against the door frame.

Both of them startled, Otis's head spinning fast enough to make Cutter think he had broken his neck.

"Baby, who is that? Who is that, baby? Baby? Is he gonna hurt us?"

Otis growled. "Stop fuckin' callin' me that I ain't your fuckin' baby." He stood, jerking his pants up and zipping himself back in.

"That's right. You're MY baby." Cutter grabbed Otis by the back of the head, pulling him close and kissing him forcefully. Otis succumbed instantly, moving his lips in unison against the clown's. "That was quite a sight to come home to." Cutter wiggled his eyebrows.

Otis licked his lips. "You like that?"

"Mm, yes I do little angel." He reached down and squeezed Otis's ass, making him whimper slightly. "You couldn't wait for me to get home?"

"N...No...I needed to be in charge..."

"Mm..." Cutter began to nibble on Otis's ear lobe and neck, making him whine in ecstasy and tilt his head, begging for more. "What're you gonna do with her?"

"What do you think, John?" Otis asked, deadpan. "Let her go?"

"What the FUCK is going on?!" The woman shrieked from the bed.

Otis turned, eyes blazing, and crossed the room back to her, wrapping his long, slender fingers around her throat. "Can't you see I'm fuckin' TALKIN'?! Fuckin' whore!"

"Please, baby...Please let me go!" She gasped around his fingers.

"I ain't your fuckin' baby." He snarled, pressing harder.

"Otis." Cutter redirected his attention. "You know you're going to be pissed later if you don't have some more fun with her."

A smirk crossed his sharp features. "You know what, mama? I'm gonna do you a favor. If you impress me enough, I'll let you live. If not, you die. "

"Whatever you want. Whatever you want just...please..."

"Ooh, we got a polite one." Otis smirked. "Cutter, block the door." He ordered as he uncuffed her. "You. Come here. Stand up." Otis barked, moving her toward the chair Cutter used to put his shoes on in the morning. "Impress me."

She kissed his neck, trying to elicit the same reaction from him Cutter had. Cutter chuckled at Otis's indifference. So it wasn't just anyone...

Her hand traveled up to rest on his chest, her face moving to take his lips. Otis pulled away, shaking his head, then beckoning for her to continue.

 _So he won't just kiss anyone, either._ Cutter marveled.

Otis sat in the chair, pushing her to her knees. She unzipped him, pulling his member out to face her before she began. Cutter stood, watching in awe.

"Mm...That's good...Yeah..." Otis murmured, tilting his head back and sighing. "Ooh, yeah..."

Cutter was completely and totally absorbed by the scene before him. He was becoming painfully hard, and he knew that Otis would snap at him if he did anything about it right this second. He was just so enrapt at the way Otis's face looked...

Otis moaned as he unloaded into her mouth, making her swallow around him. He stuffed himself back into his pants once again, and cuffed her to the bed.

"Get your rocks off, whitey?"

"Certainly wasn't going to get any head from you, fucker."

"Didn't know you wanted it."

"Who DOESN'T want a fucking blowjob?!" Otis scoffed. "You just want 'em but you never wanna give 'em."

"No, but I give you somethin' better."

"All I'm sayin' is I could use a little mouth once in a while." Otis grumbled.

"Yeah, yeah."

"Feels fuckin' good when I do it to you, don't it? Think I wouldn't like that?"

"You're a mouthy little bitch tonight, aren't you?"

Otis turned to face him abruptly, fury in his features.

"Maybe I oughta shut you up with my cock."

"Not tonight, asshole. You ain't gettin' head."

"What about some ass?"

"That you might." Otis replied as he straddled the poor girl again, who was now sobbing. "That's not sexy, mama."

"Please...Please...Let me go. I was good, wasn't I?"

"Mm. Hell yes. But I'm still gonna kill ya." He smirked, dragging his knife along her chest. Slowly, he made a deep cut in her arm, letting the blood run down her naked form. Cutter watched, eyes wide, waiting for Otis's next move.

His jaw dropped as Otis licked up the trickle of blood, stopping to suckle her breasts. Cutter's cock panged in his jeans. God, he wanted to touch Otis.

He sliced her labia, next, earning a blood-curdling scream. He threw her legs over his shoulders and began to lap at her pussy, covering his face in her blood and her pleasure. Pulling away, he inserted two fingers into her, then trailed them down his chest, leaving a trail of blood.

Cutter could hardly believe what he was watching. It was as if every fantasy he had ever had was playing out before him.

Otis turned to him, handprints and streaks of blood across his chest and arms now, and threatened. "Don't you fucking DARE touch yourself. You save that for me." He motioned to Cutter's throbbing cock.

Cutter nodded quickly, waiting for the next scene to play out.

Once she had taken her last breath, and Otis was sufficiently covered in blood, he swaggered over to Cutter, smirking.

"What'd ya think, John?"

In a blur, he stood, pinning Otis to the wall and kissing him, groping Otis's member through his jeans. He squirmed, fighting for a moment until he had processed what was happening. "That was the hottest fucking thing I have seen in my life."

"Hnn..." Otis whined in response, arching his hips against Cutter's hand.

"I'm so hard I hurt, you fucker. You had your fun. Now I'm going to have mine."

"J-John...God...Fuck me...Please..."

He unzipped Otis's jeans, jerking them away and fumbling with his own. Otis kicked his pants to the side as Cutter let his fall the the floor. He moved to push past Cutter, but he was thrown against the wall by the larger man again, who then picked him up, prompting Otis to wrap his legs around his waist. Cutter roughly entered him, making Otis wince, but as he began to slam into him, Otis began to moan.

"Yeah, that's right honey you moan for me. Moan for me. Don't you moan for anyone else but me."

"J...John!"

"You're not anyone else's but mine. You're fucking mine. You're my baby. Not anyone else's."

"I'm yours! God, I'm yours. I'm yours..." Otis let out a pleasured noise with each of Cutter's thrusts.

Once they had both finished, Cutter bent Otis over the chair he had sat in, plowing into him from behind.

"You like that? You like being mine?"

"Yes!"

"Do I make you feel better than she did?"

"Yes, John!"

He made Otis scream once again, then pulled away, gasping for air. Otis slumped over the chair, head spinning.

"God what a day." Cutter chuckled.


	17. Chapter 17

_The little boy cowered and shook beneath him. Looking down at his hands, they were bloody, knuckles cracked open from the blows he had just delivered to the quaking child._

 _"Come here you little fucker!"  
_

 _"No, Daddy please no...Please...Stop..." He sobbed. "I just want to be loved..."_

 _He chuckled bitterly. "I'll give you some love, kid!"_

 _The albino shrieked as he pushed him down against the bed, grabbing his hips and tilting them so that he could easily enter him from behind._

 _"You fuckin' like it you little slut. Don't you pretend like you don't. Look at you. Cummin' all over yourself. You fuckin' like it you little whore! You just want Daddy to spank your ass and fuck you. Fuckin' disgusting fat little slut!"_

 _Bleeding from the penetration, as well as the beating he had received prior, the boy curled in on himself, sobbing and trembling._

 _"Get your mama in here and she'll really show you what for."_

 _"No!"_

Cutter jolted awake, gasping. He heard Otis whimper in protest and turned to see him curled tightly against his side, slumbering.

That was the height of it. Cutter having nightmares about Otis's abuse. About him beating the albino boy.

He drew Otis into his arms, earning him a questioning whimper.

"Come here. Just want to hold you."

Otis let out a satisfied squeak, nuzzling into the clown's chest. He pressed a few kisses to Otis's head before returning to the lull of sleep himself.

He smelled the coffee in the morning before he opened his eyes, feeling the absence of the warmth beside him as he stretched into the bed.

If he was up, Otis was up. Cutter could barely breath at night without waking up the albino. Except, god forbid, when Otis was having a nightmare. Then he couldn't wake the little fucker up.

But Otis could sneak out of bed without him noticing, apparently.

He wandered down the stairs, rubbing a hand on his head, sighing at the creaks in the floorboards and the crisp morning air. His breath caught at the sight before him, and he smiled to himself.

Otis stood, watching through the window, a mug of coffee steaming in his hands. His bare back faced Cutter- and all the scars that littered the pale white flesh- and his sweatpants hung low enough on his hips that Cutter could see the dimples in his spine.

Otis tilted his head to one side, then the other, and Cutter heard the pops and cracks emanating from his joints. That's why he had gotten up. He was hurting.

"Y'alright?" Cutter asked, slowly approaching.

"Mm-hm. Don't worry, I heard you come down the stairs."

"Alright." He wrapped his arms around Otis's waist, slowly caressing the milky smooth flesh. "Good morning, hon." He rested his chin on Otis's shoulder, pressing a light kiss there.

"Mornin'." Otis smiled back at him.

"I love to wake up and see you here."

Otis chuckled. "I can't always be here. mama would get suspicious."

"I know. It sure is nice when I wake up with you in my arms, though."

"Mm..." If Otis was being honest, sleeping in Cutter's strong, protective arms was the best night's sleep he ever got. He was safe. He knew he was. Cutter would never let anyone hurt him again. And as long as he was in his arms, his nightmares knew the same.

"You always look so peaceful."

"You just like it 'cuz I'm quiet for once."

Cutter guffawed. "No!" Chuckling, he reached around and stuck his hands into Otis's pants. "You know I like it when you speak up."

Laughing, Otis swatted Cutter's hands and squirmed away. "John!"

His heart melted. God, he loved this asshole. "What, darlin'?" He planted another kiss on Otis's shoulder as he retracted his hand, pulling Otis closer and squeezing him instead. "That's not what you were sayin' last night."

"Mm. Seeing me with a woman really drove you nuts."

"In the best way possible. God, you were...So..."

Otis snorted.

"Lemme ask you somethin'. You ever let a woman on top?"

"Oh god no."

"Why? It's amazing..."

"Don't let anyone on top of me."

"You let me on top of you."

"That's different."

Cutter paused. "You don't let anyone else ride you? Or-"

"Before you speak, know that you are the only man I have willingly had sex with."

"Ok. So you don't let women ride you?"

"No."

"Why?"

"...I have to be in control."

"But-"

"No. You're not in control when you're on the bottom. I have to be in control. I have to be able to get out if it gets bad."

"You're never that way with me."

"I just said it's different..."

"What could she have ever done to hurt you?"

"You'd be surprised."

"Otis...What in the hell has all happened to you?"

He shook his head. "Shit you wouldn't fuckin' believe. But I don't let anyone top. Ever. I am always top. I always dominate."

"You always submit to me..."

"Because I trust you, John."

Silence overtook them as they stood in the kitchen.

"You trust me..."

"Of course I do. I...There's no way that if I didn't..."

"I just...I think I just never thought about it."

"I know if I need you to stop, you will. I know if I'm getting bad, you'll stop before I have to say so."

"So?"

"Not everyone would. I know you would. I trust you."

"I can't...Believe I'm hearing those words come out of your mouth.

Otis scoffed. "Believe it, old man."

Cutter smiled, kissing Otis on the head. "God, I love you little angel."

"Mm-hm."

"Wonder if you'll ever not have trouble saying it?"

"Probably not...It takes a long time for that stuff...But I'm getting there. I don't shove people away when they touch me anymore."

"No. I'm so proud of you. W...Why did you used to do that?"

"Damage control. When you're so used to everyone hitting you, when someone touches you you expect it to hurt, so you try to push them away before it does."

"Oh...didn't that just piss your parents off?"

"I didn't say it was effective."

Cutter laughed. "Mm...Come here." He spun Otis around, kissing him sweetly and deeply. He felt Otis smile against his lips. "You could do this all day, couldn't you?" He asked, leaving a final peck on Otis's lips.

"Probably." Otis sighed. "Never knew it could be like this."

He smiled, tucking a strand of hair behind Otis's ear. "It is when you're mine."


	18. Chapter 18

"Come on baby, you were hunched over that statue all day, lemme rub you down."

Otis smirked over his shoulder as he pulled his shirt off. "You just like havin' your hands all over me."

"And you don't?"

Otis rolled his eyes. "No. I've been abused and I DON'T want someone's hands on me that feel that good."

"That's what I thought."

Otis sighed contentedly as he felt Cutter straddle his back.

"You were so scared the first time I did this..."

"Wasn't sure."

"Did you honestly think I would hurt you?"

"Didn't know for sure."

"I told you I wouldn't."

"Do you have any idea how many times I've been told that and then been hurt?"

"Many, I'm sure..."

Otis paused, the silence tense. "...It wasn't always just men that hurt me..."

"Hm?"

"Back when...When I first got free...Oh, god Cutter right there..."

Cutter chuckled. "Keep goin'. I'll take care of you."

"This girl...Used to pull me out of the alley and have me over."

"Alley?"

"I was homeless. I crouched wherever I could find shelter. Had some money comin', odd jobs here and there. But she found me sitting outside this...Restaurant I used to dig through the dumpsters at for food."

Cutter's heart ached. The fact that Otis had had to dumpster dive for food and had to sleep in the streets was something he had known, but to have it explained to him was more than painful...

"And she would have me over to her big mansion and let me fuck her. I always showered when I was there. God, it felt so good...That was one of the handfuls of times I had had consensual sex before you and I. Well...One day, we're foolin' around and she calls me 'daddy' and it weirds me out, y'know?" Otis cringed at Cutter's hands- they had gotten rough. When he saw Otis's face, he let up. "She asked me why, and when I just kind of stuttered, I guess she did some mental math...why I wouldn't let her ride me. Why I always had to see her face. Why I didn't let her get rough."

"Did you ever tell her?"

"I didn't have to. She spat it all back in my face...Told me I liked it and I probably moaned for him like I did for her. Called me a faggot piece of shit with Daddy issues. Told me I deserved it. This was after months of her telling me that I was handsome and she couldn't wait to see me again and leaving letters in the cracks of the bricks at the restaurant. Turns out her boyfriend had been away and I had been her toy."

"Otis..."

"And you know the dumbest fucking mistake I made?" He scoffed. "I fucking told her I loved her. And she threw it right back in my face. Before I was unique and my eyes were pretty. All of a sudden I was a side show freak who deserved all the hell I'd been through, and liked it to boot. Just so someone would touch me."

Growling, Cutter spun Otis onto his back, demanding his attention. Otis shrieked in alarm, staring wide-eyed at the clown. "That fucking whore didn't deserve you."

"J-John..."

"Don't you dare believe any of that. I know it still echoes in your head. You wouldn't remember it otherwise."

"O-Okay...Okay..."

"Don't be scared..." Cutter stroked his cheek. Otis flinched, whimpering. "Shhh. I know. I'm sorry I scared you. But she didn't deserve you. Hell I don't even deserve you. But God are you a gift..." He placed a kiss on Otis's lips. "Now, roll back over and I'll finish rubbin'."

Otis obeyed, sighing again as Cutter continued.

"I love you. Now I understand why you have trouble saying it...Being hurt like that, I wouldn't either..."

Otis shrugged. "Whatever..."

"You always shrug off your pain...But you don't have to."

"Mm..."

Smiling devilishly, Cutter massaged Otis's ass, crouching down behind him.

"Cutter?" Otis looked over his shoulder. "What're you doin'...?"

"What?" Placing a kiss on one cheek, the clown smirked at Otis, who looked extremely concerned. "Ain't you ever had this done to you before?"

"N-No..."

"It'll feel good..." Cutter nibbled lightly at the pale flesh. "I promise."

"Please don't..."

"What? You said you could use a little mouth every once in a while."

"Not like that! Cutter!" Otis tried to squirm, but Cutter wrapped his arms around Otis's legs, pulling his ass cheeks apart.

"Ohh, come on baby-"

"NO! JOHN I SAID NO!"

"Relax, hon. I'm not gonna hurt you." He smirked.

"JOHN GODDAMMIT I SAID NO! STOP!"

Abruptly, Cutter released Otis and climbed on top of him, claiming his lips. As he wrapped his arms around Otis, he felt him trembling. "Hey, hey what's wrong?"

"I said NO!"

"I know. I heard you I was just playin' around. Hey come on...It's okay shhhhh..." Shit, he had fucked up. Otis was hyperventilating, trembling in his arms.

"I didn't want it...I didn't want that!"

"I know, and I didn't do it, did I?" He tried to soothe, stroking Otis's hair.

"You were!"

"No, I wasn't. I heard you say no the first time. I was just playing. Did you think it would hurt? Why didn't you want-"

"I-I...I don't know I just know I didn't want to and you were going to!"

"Otis, no, even if you had wanted it I wouldn't have done it, I'm sorry but I'm not...Going to do that for you."

Still shaking, Otis pushed his hair away from his face. "Hnn..."

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize I would work you up. I'm sorry...You're always still scared someone won't stop, aren't you?"

Otis nodded, burrowing into Cutter's shoulder as he began to calm himself down.

"Shhhh...I'll always stop, Otis. Whether I'm playing with you or not. I won't ever do anything you don't want."

"I'm sorry..."

"What are you sorry for? For being abused? Baby if I didn't want to put the effort into you, I wouldn't. You're special." He kissed Otis, who nuzzled back into his neck again.

As they slumbered together that night, Cutter stared down at Otis. He felt horribly about the way he had scared him. He had only wanted to tease-

Otis screamed and threw himself away from Cutter, who instinctively tried to grab him to protect him from whatever assailant he had seen.

"NO! NO GET OFF OF ME! STOP!" Otis dealt Cutter a square kick to the gut, toppling him off of the bed.

"Ohh...God, Otis what the fuck?"

He cornered himself, trembling and trying to protect his head with his arms.

"Little angel, it's okay, he can't hurt you-"

"NO!" He curled more in on himself as Cutter approached. "NO! STOP! STOP HITTING ME!"

"Otis I'm not your father, it's your John-"

"I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY I DIDN'T WANT THAT TODAY!"

"Hey, relax. Relax."

"YOU DIDN'T STOP!"

"I said I was sorry-"

"I'M SORRY I DIDN'T WANT IT...B-BUT YOU DIDN'T STOP!"

"Otis, relax. We talked about this."

"STOP HITTING ME! PLEASE CUTTER PLEASE STOP HITTING ME I'M SORRY!"

"Baby, I never hit you..."

Otis began to weep, his shoulders rocking with sobs. His face was obscured, but Cutter knew tears rolled down his cheeks. "S-Stop hitting me...I love you...I'm sorry...I'm sorry..."

"No, no Otis come here-" He held back tears at the scene before him. He reached out to pull Otis into an embrace, but he flinched away.

"P...Please...D-Don't make me have sex with you again..."

"What?"

"You made me have sex with you...You said you would never do that to me..."

Cutter's mind reeled.

"W...W...Why did you do it, John? I t-told you I loved you...I trusted you...Wh...why did you do that to me? You promised me..."

"Otis, we didn't have sex tonight..."

"You fucking RAPED me!"

"No, no. Shhh...Come on, let's talk about this." He reached out to touch Otis, who screamed and flinched away again.

"PLEASE DON'T HIT ME!" He sobbed. "IT HURTS SO MUCH PLEASE STOP!"

"Otis goddammit. You were dreaming!"

"N...No...Y-You..."

"Yes, hon. You just woke up from a nightmare. It's okay..."

"W...Why do I hurt?"

"You hurt sometimes, love. Remember? I wouldn't ever hit you or rape you. God...You know I would never do that to you..."

"I kicked you oh god I'm sorry please don't be mad please don't be mad John don't hurt me I'm sorry-"

"Shhhh...It's okay. You didn't mean it. You were just scared."

"Don't hurt me-"

"Shhhh..."

"You're gonna hit me because you're mad! Please...I'm sorry!"

"No one is gonna hit you." He pulled Otis into his arms, despite his panicked scream and struggling. The albino shook in his arms, whimpering and begging not to be hit. Cutter tried to soothe him, eventually falling asleep himself.

When he awoke, Otis was downstairs once again, staring out the window. Cutter slowly crept down the stairs, resting a hand on his shoulder s he approached.

"Hey..."

Otis turned and Cutter's eyebrows knit together in concern. His eyes were bloodshot from crying, and his face was still red. Dark circles rested under his crimson eyes. "Hey." He answered.

"You wanna talk about last night?"

"No."

"I think we need to."

"Think again."

"Otis-"

"I'm fine, shut the fuck up."

"If you call fine sobbing and flipping the fuck out because you thought I was going to hit you because you dreamed that I raped you and beat the shit out of you, you're fucked."

"There, you said it. What is there to talk about?"

"Is it because of what happened yesterday?"

"Yes."

"You were really that scared?"

"Guess so."

"I'm sorry...I should have known that...It wouldn't be okay to fuck with you like that. I should know your boundaries by now-"

"Maybe if I wasn't so fucked up-"

"Don't say that. I love you. You know that. You know it doesn't matter to me that you've been abused. You know I don't think you're fucked up. So stop saying that shit."

Otis finally turned to him. "What do you want me to say, huh?"

"Are we okay?"

"Us? The fuck? Of course we are."

"Are YOU okay?"

Otis bit his lip, averting his eyes. "I hate that you saw that."

"Hey." Cutter took Otis's chin, tipping his head back to look him in the eyes. "I love you. No matter what. That doesn't matter. I don't see you as weak. You're strong...You're so strong. To have gone through what you did. Okay?"

Otis nodded.

"Come here." Cutter wrapped his arms around Otis, who settled, happy and safe in Cutter's arms.


	19. Chapter 19

Cutter kissed Otis as he lay on the bed, taking the albino in.

"We're gonna try somethin' tonight, little angel. But you have to trust me."

"Oh god..."

"I know I broke some of your trust. I know I scared you. I want to earn it back."

"Cutter..." Otis murmured warningly.

"I promise. I would never, ever hurt you. That I do promise, okay?"

He swallowed heavily, looking into those dark brown eyes. He trusted Cutter, but pushing his own anxiety down was another thing.

"Ready?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"You can stop me. You have that ability."

"...But now I'm curious."

Cutter laughed, kissing him. "I'll stop if you need me to. But I think we should give it a go, yeah?"

"Alright."

Digging in his bedside drawer, Cutter produced handcuffs and a blindfold.

"John-"

"Trust me. Okay? If it really comes down to it, I know you can break these cuffs."

"They're not real?"

"No, of course not! They're plastic."

Otis nodded. "Okay."

"Alright." He cuffed Otis to the headboard, making sure he was comfortable before he wrapped the blindfold around his eyes. "You still alright?"

"M...Mm-hm..."

"What's wrong?"

Otis swallowed heavily. "Nothin'."

"No, come o-"

"I was tied to my bed when I was a kid..."

"Shhh...Okay. Well, you know you can get out of these. And if you want me to stop, I'll stop."

"Okay..."

"I love you." Cutter murmured as he kissed Otis, who flinched back initially, but leaned into the encounter. "I love you so much."

Otis whimpered in pleasure against his lips, but startled when he pulled away and pushed his hair to the side. "What're you doing? John?"

"Relax. Relax. I'm just doing all the things you love, darlin'. Relax."

"I can't see what you're doing."

"No shit." He cupped Otis's cheek, making him jerk wildly to the side and cower.

"Fuck, John don't hit me..."

"Have I ever hit you?"

"No..."

"What makes you think I would now?"

"I can't defend myself..."

"Yes you can. You can break out of those cuffs. But honey, I'm not gonna hurt you. I'm going to fucking ravage you."

Otis gasped as Cutter began on his neck, finding his perfect spot almost embarassingly quickly. He whimpered and moaned against the larger man, arching his back. "God...Damn...Oh god..."

"You get hard for me that fast, huh?" Cutter chuckled, wrapping his large hand around Otis's member.

He jumped, pulling his head away. "J-John?"

"Who else would it be, darlin'?"

"Y-You don't...You..." He trailed off, losing his train of thought as Cutter swirled his thumb along Otis's tip, making him shudder.

"I know. But I should. You're always makin' sure I'm satisfied. But what about you, huh? I'm selfish when it comes to sex. Always have been. But I wanna make you feel good."

"You...Always do..."

"I know you always cum, but is it always what you want? Probably not." He stroked along Otis's shaft, adoring the reactions he was getting out of his lover.

"I always...like it..." He stammered.

"I know you do. But I wanna treat you, baby." He swirled his thumb along Otis's tip once again, dipping his thumb in the precum leaking from him. "Baby, you this excited already?"

Otis's face flushed.

"I'm not complainin'. I know for sure not everyone gets this out of you." He kissed Otis once again, then worked his way down his chest. Cutter heard him purring underneath his form, shuddering and moaning when he hit a particularly sensitive spot. "God, you're so fucking sexy."

Otis smirked. "What're you gonna do about it?"

"You wanna find out?"

The bravado fell from his face for a moment. "I-I think...yes..."

"I'm gonna have you screaming that here in a second." He licked the precum off of Otis's head, swirling his tongue.

"Ah! John!"

"What, baby?" He murmured, taking Otis into his mouth and sucking around him.

"Oh my god...Ohhh my god..." Otis groaned. "Yes...John..."

Spaulding worked as hard as he could to please Otis. He had never done this before- he had just assumed whatever he did would feel good. He had had enough of them to know what did and what didn't.

When Otis's moans and shrieks began to raise in pitch, he knew he was close. But he wasn't quite expecting the unload. Was it really always that much?

He swallowed around Otis, then pulled away.

"C-Cutter?" Otis managed through pants. "John? W...where'd you go?"

Smirking, he didn't answer.

"John? I'm sorry I thought...I ...God don't be mad I'm sorry."

"Little angel, no!" He gently touched Otis's shoulder. The smaller man yelped and flinched. "I'm not mad. I'm going to clean up. I'm not finished with you yet, handsome."

"Okay..."

"I promise I'm not upset."

He nodded. "Okay, I trust you."

Cutter shook his head, chuckling. "Apologizing for cumming. You're somethin' else. Not like you didn't warn me." He cleaned himself up, then returned to Otis, touching him without thinking and making him jump. As he worked around to his back, Otis whimpered- unsure if it was pleasure or fear, Cutter continued, groping Otis's ass.

"STOP!"

Cutter drew away quickly, startled. "Shh. It's okay little angel. What's wrong?"

"John?"

"Yeah?"

"I-I...I can't see you. I didn't know if it was you."

"Who else would be in here, Otis?"

"I don't know...I..."

"You're so afraid someone else is going to sneak in here and hurt you while you can't see, aren't you..."

Otis nodded. "Sorry..."

"Don't apologize. Stop apologizing." He kissed Otis once again, biting his lip and reaching to his back. Otis arched his hips this time, moaning.

"Don't stop..." He whimpered.

"What position do you want, little angel?" Cutter murmured.

"W...Whatever you want..." Otis gasped as Cutter inserted his index finger, then his middle finger into him.

"NO. I said. What position do YOU want?"

"I want to ride you...and I want you to touch me..."

"I can do that, sweetheart." Spaulding wedged himself under Otis, adjusting so he would be comfortable.

Otis whimpered. "Where'd your hand go...? Why'd you stop?"

"Cuz I'm switchin' around, baby."

"Ain't gonna un-cuff me?"

"Nope." Spaulding smirked as he guided Otis down onto his erection. "I'm gonna just worry about pleasin' you, hon."

"John..." Otis moaned as Spaulding caressed his chest, bucking his hips up to create a rhythm. "God...Yes, John...Yes..."

"You like that baby? Does it feel good?"

He whined, tilting his head back, and Cutter smirked.

"I think so." He chuckled. "I love you, little angel." He reached between them, beginning to gently stroke Otis's member.

"A...aaah..." Otis whined against him.

"What'sa matter, baby?"

Otis whimpered incoherently into Spaulding's shoulder, unable to speak.

"God you are so fucking beautiful." He kissed Otis's head, then beginning to nibble on his ear. Otis groaned loudly, precum leaking onto Cutter's hand. "Mm...Guess you like that, huh, sweetheart?" He got a small whimper in response.

The sensory overload brought Otis to the edge more quickly than Cutter, who continued to fuck Otis until he came himself. Otis certainly didn't seem to mind- he collapsed on Cutter's shoulder and rode out his orgasm, and then Cutter's.

"Y'know, hon, I should really treat you better than I do..."

"Hn...?"

"I should do this more for you. You always blow my mind."

"Mm..." Otis nuzzled into his neck, settling there.

"Aw, come on, darlin'." He felt Otis smile into his skin. "Want me to let you free?"

Otis nodded and Spaulding undid the cuffs. Otis wrapped his arms around the larger man, nuzzling back into the crook of his neck. Spaulding stroked his hair, and Otis let out a pleased coo.

"I love you." He kissed Otis's head. "I guess I made you happy tonight then, huh?"

"You always make me happy, John..."

Expecting just a whimper or a swat on the chest to stop talking, he startled.

"And I love you, too."

Spaulding sighed. "God, what'd I do to deserve you?"

"Must've been somethin' pretty awful."

"No." Spaulding scolded, pushing Otis away and making the albino look him in the eye. "It had to be something amazing to be rewarded better than the saints."

Otis flushed, turning away. Spaulding chuckled, gathering him into his arms once more.


	20. Chapter 20

It wasn't all that long until Cutter heard another woman screaming from his bedroom.

He sighed and chuckled, shaking his head as he ascended the stairs. He slowly opened the door, not wanting to alarm Otis and make him stop, or alert the woman that he was there.

God, she was a beauty, this one. Long black hair and tanned skin. Otis chose to fuck her from behind, his arm wrapped in her mane as he jerked at the roots. She screamed in pleasure beneath him, and Cutter knew it wasn't an act. She was having fun.

He sat for a moment, watching them. until he spoke up. "You either had a nightmare last night or you're just voracious."

Otis glared as the woman jumped beneath him. "I heard you come in, jackass. Was wonderin' when you were gonna say somethin'."

"I like to watch you."

"Who's that?" The woman asked. This one wasn't scared like the last. Cutter was intrigued.

He smirked as he placed a hand on Otis's shoulder, caressing his skin softly. "I'm his real partner."

"Aw. Cute." She reached behind, swatting Otis's ass. "Come on, honey finish me off this time then we can all have some fun."

Cutter so desperately wished he had had a camera to capture the look on Otis's face. A mix of confusion, anger and shock that someone had the nerve to do that, but God did it turn him on.

"Be kind to her, little angel."

"Fu-" Otis's protest was cut off by Cutter's lips on his own. Cutter turned up the heat- kissing Otis slowly and sensually, the way he liked it best, tasting his lovers mouth. "Mm...John..." He pulled away from the woman, wrapping his slender arms around Cutter's neck.

"Ah ah ah, little angel." He smirked. "Finish your dinner before you can have dessert."

"John, please-"

"I will. Let her have some fun."

"God, that was hot." She smirked. "But come on, honey. I'm about close and so are you. Let's get off on each other."

Cutter had never seen someone begrudgingly cum, but a lot of things were a first with Otis. He wanted what he wanted, dammit. And who did Cutter think he was to make him out to be a child.

"Don't you dare move." Cutter warned as he unbuckled his jeans and stood behind Otis.

"Oh, FUCK yes!" The woman laughed. "This is awesome."

"C-Cut-aahhh..."

"What's that, darlin'?" Cutter asked, nibbling on Otis's shoulder.

Otis merely whimpered in response, trying to pull away from the woman.

"Ohhh no. You make her happy, Otis. I'll take care of you. You take care of her."

"What?" Otis growled.

"Come on, handsome. Let's play this one out. See where it goes." She smirked, pushing herself back down on Otis, who shuddered in pleasure.

Otis's body exploded with pleasure as Cutter began to thrust into him, and his hips moved against the girl lying underneath him. It wasn't long until both she and Otis were screaming, Cutter pounding into Otis and Otis trying desperately to remember to move his hips.

"Oh, sweetie don't get played out already." She giggled and stroked the hair out of Otis's face as he fell limp on top of her. "You have to finish me off.

"Don't worry, hon. I'll get it." Cutter laughed. They finished together, leaving Otis lying on the bed. "Too much for ya?"

"I'm fucking exhausted..."

"I'm sure ya are. How many rounds did you have before I came?"

"Two." He whimpered.

"Where'd you find her?"

"She's not a hooker. She's just hot."

"Mm. Mind if I have some fun with her?"

"I don't fuckin' care."

Otis dozed while Cutter did whatever the fuck with her. He could give a shit- as far as he was concerned he was done for the day.

He felt Cutter sit on the bed and pull his head into his lap. Otis sighed contentedly and cuddled into him, settling once again.

"So, what's your story?" He heard the woman ask.

"Me?"

"Yeah. You and him. He's completely different with you than he was with me. What's your story?"

Otis hoped Cutter hadn't realized he was awake. But as he gently stroked his hair, he figured not. "Well...Kind of a long one, but long story short, it's a defense for him. His child hood was..." Cutter sighed. "God some of the things he went through I..."

"He was abused, huh?"

"In ways you wouldn't believe. He still has nightmares. Still struggles. I'm honestly so proud of him that it's not worse. And I know I don't know everything that happened to him."

"Must've been bad..."

"So bad...What he's told me has been horrific. I don't know how he survived. But God..."

"What? You really love him?"

"God, I love him so much. I..." Cutter sighed again. "Look at him. He's...gorgeous. Let alone who he is...I know how he probably was with you. Suave and giving off an air of 'i don't give a fuck' but...He's one of the sweetest people I've ever met. And he so genuinely cares for the people he loves because he never had it. He's so afraid it'll be taken from him...But God I love him so much. I love him so fucking much it physically hurts me sometimes. Sometimes I just see him smile and my chest twists and my guts fall to my feet. Because after all he's been through and all that's happened to him, he's smiling at me."

"That's...Beautiful..."

"And...And he trusts me. It took a long, long time. But he trusts me. And every effort that I've put into him has been given back to me twelve fold. He's...Amazing."

Silence for a moment. Otis almost dared to open an eye before she spoke again.

"I just hope some day I can find what you two have."

"You will. It took me this long, and he almost died on me, but you will."

"Thank you..."

"What does he owe you?"

"He told you I wasn't a hooker. Just a girl looking for a good time. And damn was he a good time."

"Alright. You know we're not public?"

"No one is. My girl and I weren't for a long time." She giggled. "We all have secrets. But tell me one thing, okay?"

"What's that, darlin'?"

"All that stuff you told me about him? Make sure he knows that."

Cutter pulled Otis further into his lap, making him whimper in protest. He curled around Cutter, burying his nose in his neck. "Darlin'? You know you're the best thing that's ever happened to me?"

Otis whimpered again, burying his face. If he was going to pretend he had been sleeping, he had to make Cutter believe it. "I love you, little angel." He kissed Otis's forehead. "I try to make sure he knows..."

"I'll see you around, clown."

"Mm-hm. Be safe, girly."


	21. Chapter 21

"Hi Daddy!"

He heard baby's voice on the phone, always cheery. It always made his heart clench. God, he loved her. "Hi, Vera. What's goin' on?"

"Well..."

"Oh, god."

"Otis is in jail."

"What?! For WHAT?"

"Well he went to a bar last night."

"What? Why?"

"I don't know. But he got into a fight- not his fault- and he was in jail over night to sober up. Figured you might wanna go pick him up."

"Yeah. Yeah I'll go down."

When he walked into the police station, he noticed Otis right away, leaning against the bars, head down against the cool steel. Probably with a pounding headache.

"What'd you get yourself into this time?"

Raising his head, Cutter drew back. Fuck, he had had his ass handed to him. "Fuck off fuckin' asshole it wasn't my fuckin' fault."

"I can see you're in a good mood."

"Can you PLEASE take this fucker home?" The guard startled Cutter. "He's right. The other idiot admitted to it being his fault. But this one..."

"Yeah, fuck you you dick licker little shit." Otis growled.

"Please take him..."

"Alright. Alright. Come on. Do I have any paperwork?"

"No. Just get him the fuck out of here."

As Cutter walked Otis out of the drunk tank, he noticed a limp and a slight wince with every intake of breath. Once they got to the car, he allowed himself to fuss over him.

"Let me see your face, darlin'-"

"Get your fuckin' hands off me I'll take care of it myself."

"Hey, don't be all pissy with me."

"Fuck you."

"HEY!"

Otis flinched back away from him, growling in pain at the sudden movement.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? Why were you at a BAR last night?"

"To get fucked up John why the fuck do you think?"

"You don't GO out. You don't socialize."

"Wow. Thanks."

"You got your ass handed to you on a silver platter, Otis."

"He surprised me! Came outta nowhere!"

"What happened?"

"I was talking to this girl- apparently his wife- and he had his beer balls on and started a fight with me. Fucker sucker punched me in the back of the head. Threw me down on the floor and was just punching me. I kicked him in the gut and pushed him off. He flipped me into a table and threw me into a wall and choked me. I got his eyes. Got him down and started fuckin' wailin' on him like he was on me. I won."

"Oh, did you now?"

"I wasn't the one who got tazed."

"What?!"

"Cops show up. I flip him around so he's facing them. He shits himself. I've been tazed before. Don't want to again."

"Alright. Alright. Let's get you home and patched up."

"I said I'd do it myself."

"Whatever. Get rid of that hangover and that bitchy attitude."

"I'm not hungover. I had two beers and a shot of whiskey last night before all that."

"Why're you so pissy then?!"

"I fuckin hurt John, jesus fuckin' christ!"

"Ok. Ok. Relax."

Helping Otis out of the car was a bit of a challenge, as was helping him up the stairs and into the bathroom. But once he got there, he sighed in relief.

"Alright. Take your shirt off."

He shook his head. "Can't. You're gonna have to help me."

"Ohhh so you do need my help." He smirked.

"Ribs are broken. Can't lift my arms too far."

"Ohhh hon...Here. How attached are you to this shirt?"

"Not. Why?"

Cutter easily ripped the fabric off, freeing Otis's torso, which looked like someone had drunkenly smashed purple and blue paint onto. "Oh, fuck..."

"Yeah. I know." He grunted. "Nothin' you can do about it."

"You should go to the hospital."

"No! Fuck that."

"Otis-"

"Do you know how many times I've had broken ribs? Broken bones in general? And I fixed 'em myself. Don't need to go to a fuckin' hospital and have someone pokin' and proddin' around-"

Frustrated, Cutter squeezed the back of Otis's neck hard enough to make him freeze and whimper. "Drop the fuckin' attitude, Otis. Stop being such a bastard with me."

"J-John..." He cringed. "Let go!"

"Stop being a fucker or I'LL beat the shit out of you."

Otis's eyes widened and fear crossed his features.

"You know I won't, but it got you to shut up. What the fuck is your problem?"

"Ain't got a fuckin' problem."

"Then why are you so sour?"

"I hurt John, I told you!"

"You've been hurt before and dealt with me and you haven't been this fuckin' nasty."

Otis fell silent, cringing as Cutter lightly brushed his hand along the bruises on his skin.

"You gonna let me take care of you or are you gonna be a bitch?"

"Yeah..." Otis relented, white locks obscuring his features as he hung his head.

"Alright." Cutter began to tend to his injuries, careful to be as gentle as he could. Otis had calmed- he didn't want to agitate him again. Finally, he tilted Otis's chin to make him look him in the eyes. "Let's see that handsome face there, sweetheart."

"Nn..." Otis pulled away, hissing in pain as he jarred his wounds.

"Hey, come on. You been strugglin' with somethin' and been hidin' it from me. What's going on, Otis?"

Otis paused, embarrassment in his eyes.

"You still struggling with your weight? What were you doing at a bar? You NEVER go out-"

"I'm getting too dependent."

"What?"

"I'm too dependent on you and it scares the hell out of me."

Cutter guffawed. "You're not dependent on SHIT, Otis! You-"

"I need you and it's terrifying..."

"W...What?"

Otis sighed, turning away for a moment. "I said...I need you. And it's terrifying. Because...You could break me at any given moment. You have so much power over me and I hate it...but...You...You gave me something I never thought I would have and it makes me feel so good and I'm addicted to it...And you could take it away. Any time you wanted you could end it and where would that leave me? You...You could crush my world. I've never needed anyone. I've always only relied on myself and only myself. Because I couldn't trust anyone. B-but...With you, I..." He whimpered, rubbing his temples. "John, I hurt can I just go to bed? Please?"

"Otis...I would never hurt you like that...I...I know this situation is different but I don't think I COULD leave now. Even if I wanted to. And I definitely don't want to."

"But-"

"Otis. Stop it. Stop torturing yourself with these thoughts that everything you love can be destroyed. I'm not going anywhere. Could I? Yes, in theory. But I couldn't leave you. I love you too much."

"I just..."

"You don't like being dependent because you feel weak."

Otis grumbled some reply, turning away.

"I know that's what it is. It doesn't make you weak. It just makes you human. Now will you please just enjoy your life?"

"Tryin' to. Got flipped into a fuckin' table."

"Come on, little angel. Let's get those broken wings healed."


	22. Chapter 22

When Cutter came home, he wasn't entirely surprised to see Otis with a woman. What DID surprise him, however, was that it was a repeat customer.

He would never have expected him to go after the same woman twice- but the only woman who had ever survived a sexual encounter with Otis B. Driftwood and lived to tell the tale was on her knees in front of him, pleasuring him.

Neither one of them heard Cutter approach and stand in the doorway. Otis's hearing usually made up for his deficit in sight, but apparently when he had lips around his cock his senses dulled.

He was surprised by how quiet Otis was. He was usually at least a moaner- at least with Cutter. But he was almost dead silent except for a few sharp intakes of breath, only whimpering softly when he orgasmed.

"What're you gonna do for me now, Otis?" She asked, still between his legs.

He chuckled. "What do you want, mama?"

"You, sexy..." She purred, pulling him up out of the chair and leading him to the bed, pushing him against it.

Cutter saw the brief flash of fear in Otis's eyes as she straddled him. "Oh, I don't think so-"

As Cutter saw Otis's body tense to flip her, he made himself known. "Otis. Stop."

Otis let out an alarmed cry, as the woman looked over her shoulder and smirked. "Wondered when you were gonna speak up."

"I wanted to see some action."

"John, jesus christ you scared the fuck out of me..."

"I can feel your heart racin'." She murmured, tracing her hand over Otis's chest.

"Yeah, well there's another reason for that." He pulled up a chair and sat beside the bed. "Let her on top, Otis."

"No!"

"Otis."

Fearful rubies glittered back to Cutter's eyes.

"It's okay. I won't let her hurt you."

"I won't hurt you, hon. I just wanna have a good time. Don't worry."

"John..."

"Let her top. Let go of just one more thing that scares you. I won't let her hurt you. I promise, you'll love it."

"Nn..." He turned back to the woman straddling his waist and nodded.

"You're still in control, Otis. Just because I'm on top doesn't mean I am..." She kissed his collarbone, working her way up to his neck. Otis began to relax, closing his eyes and letting out a breath he hadn't been aware he had been holding. "How's it feel to have my breasts against your chest...?" She whispered, breath hot in his ear. "You like it?"

"Nn..." He managed as he nodded, letting his hands roam her torso.

"That's it...You always know what you're doin'..." She leaned in to kiss him on the lips, kissing him on the cheek when he turned away from her.

"Otis." Cutter scolded.

Otis turned to him, eyes glittering with fear, frustration and anger.

"Let her kiss you."

"John-"

"There's people other than me that don't just want to hurt you and use you. Let her kiss you."

She gently turned Otis's head to face her again, caressing his cheek sweetly. He swallowed heavily, eyes wide. "You're terrified..." She sighed sadly. "Johnny is right there. He'd kill me if I hurt you. I just want to ride you...That's all. And I want you to enjoy it. Come on, relax for me..." She kissed him, starting slow and then pressing her mouth against his once he reciprocated.

Once she began, moving her hips in a rhythm against his, he wrenched his head back and moaned loudly, grabbing her thighs.

"Oh god..." She whined. "God you're gorgeous...God you beautiful, beautiful man..."

Otis ran a hand through his hair, grappling with the sensations and emotions. He felt Cutter's warm palm in his and smiled slightly.

"It's okay."

The woman screamed like a wild animal not shortly after, getting in a few more pumps before Otis came, and she rolled beside him.

Cutter took his turn with the girl, then stood at the food of the bed Otis was laying on.

"Come here, little angel."

Smiling, Otis sat up, wrapping his arms around Cutters neck and pulling him into a passionate kiss.

"Mm...Darlin'..." His arms snaked around Otis's waist, pulling him closer.

"I love you, Johnny..." Otis whispered between kisses.

"I love you too, sweetheart."

"Think you got one more left in ya, old man?" Otis smirked, wiggling his eyebrows.

"I'm always ready for you, hon."

Otis laughed as Cutter threw him against the bed. "Johnny!"

The girl watched from her perch on their dresser, taking in the moment. Otis was a completely different person with the clown. She wasn't offended, but she was mesmerized by the difference.

He whimpered and squirmed as Cutter prepped him, kissing him sweetly as his fingers worked.

"I could get you on just that." He chuckled.

"It'd take you longer."

"I don't care how much time it takes when it's you." He kissed Otis quickly. "You ready?"

He nodded, only slightly cringing as the larger man entered him, his pained expression melting into one of ecstasy as he relaxed.

It didn't take Otis long to curl into his clown, biting his shoulder as he rode out a powerful orgasm, trembling in his lover's arms.

"Hey, you're gonna draw blood one of these times..." Cutter grumbled. "Wish you'd just fuckin' scream."

Otis panted beneath him, rolling his eyes.

"Oh, come on. Don't be sour." He stroked Otis's cheek gently, kissing him. "I love you."

A grin crossed Otis's features and he chuckled. "I love you too."

"Your eyes look like two pissholes in the wind, boy. You're exhausted."

Otis nodded.

"I'll see her out and then I'll come back to you, alright?"

"She drove."

"I'd like some coffee, though, if you have it."

"Yeah. Come on."

They walked down the stairs together after she had dressed. She hopped up on the counter, watching Cutter make the brew.

"...So it...was pretty bad for him, huh?"

"Huh? Oh...Yeah...Yeah he's..." He sighed. "If you had any idea-well, if even I had any idea what it took for him to open up to me...I can hardly believe he survived what he's told me he's been through."

"It just...blows my mind."

"What?"

"How...The only way I can describe it is he...He's a jaguar. He's seductive and sleek and...You know he's scary and he's dangerous but he draws you in with those eyes. He's fucking sexy as hell and he knows he is. He can sweet talk the birds out of the trees, but nothing about him is sweet. He takes what he wants and leaves your head spinning wondering how the hell you got here but it's never a bad thing. But with you..."

"I know..."

"It's like...you figured out who he really is and he...It's like he's overjoyed that you did. He's so happy with you. Do you see it?"

"I...Haven't quite thought about it that way."

"He's given you more than he's ever given anyone. You'd better not fuck it up."

The clown snorted.

"If he's that scared with other people and not with you, he's given you an incredible gift. I just hope you don't squander it."

He handed her a mug of coffee. "Can't say you're wrong, that's for sure."

"I think I'm in love with him."

"You're in love with his penis."

She shuddered. "Goddamn. You might be right."


	23. Chapter 23

Otis stood in front of the record player, head a million miles away.

"Darlin', what's on your mind?" Cutter approached him slowly, wrapping his arms around his middle and pulling the smaller man to him lovingly. Otis relaxed into his arms like he always did, but then tensed again, as if he couldn't let himself tonight. "What's wrong?"

"Nothin'..."

"You hurt today?" He asked, tenderly rubbing Otis's shoulder with one hand, keeping the other firmly wrapped around his lover's waist.

"No..."

"Something is going on in that head of yours. Don't lie to me."

A long pause, then he finally cleared his throat. "I'm still scared..."

"Of what, hon?"

"I...Everything is going too well...I'm not used to this...I'm so scared it's all going to crash down around me...Especially..."

"Especially me."

The record stopped playing and silence overtook them.

"There's still a part of me that's so afraid you're just using me..."

"Darlin' what can I do to prove it to you?" He asked, kissing Otis's shoulder.

"It's not anything you can or can't do. It's just...I've lost so much, John..."

"I know you have. But I'm not going anywhere, and neither is your family."

"You're...The first person to tell me they love me...And mean it."

"I know. I DO mean it, Otis." He pulled the albino closer to him again, hugging him snuggly to his chest. "You're my best friend and the person I love most. It doesn't get much better than that." He kissed Otis's cheek from behind, catching the younger man in a smile. "I love you so much."

Otis leaned his head against Cutter's in reply, a gesture of trust and affection.

"You know what I'm afraid of?"

Otis hummed questioningly

"That you'll find a beautiful woman and you'll run away with her."

"John-"

"I know. You wouldn't do that. But I wouldn't ever leave you and you still have your fear. See what I mean?" He spun Otis around in his arms. "So, you're not gonna run away with that girl you keep bringing around here, right?" Cutter smirked.

"Who? Sarah? Hell no. Not my type. But she IS hot." He chuckled. "Besides. Why would I leave this?"

The clown slowly reached behind Otis and reset the needle on the record player, drawing away slightly.

"John?"

"Just be with me in the moment, yeah?" He began to sway with Otis to the music, holding him close and moving to take his hand. He felt Otis gently kiss his neck and rest his head on the muscular shoulder, relaxing into the form he had grown so comfortable being next to.

They swayed through a song or two, neither wanting entirely to stop. Cutter made the first move, pulling away and kissing Otis softly, gently while they continued.

Unable to resist any longer, Otis shoved his hand down the front of Cutter's pants, fondling him.

"Mmm...Subtlety is not your game, huh?"

"No...Never was."

"I love that about you. Never any question how you feel."

"You're gonna love a whole lot more than that tonight. " Otis smirked.

"Why don't you let me do the lovin' tonight darlin'?"

"Yeah?" Otis smiled up at him, red eyes glinting with joy.

"Mmhm." Cutter smiled as he kissed Otis again, slowly, passionately. He led the smaller man up to the bedroom, sighing in appreciation as the albino removed clothing. "God, I wonder if I'll ever get used to this view." He muttered against the pale skin, making Otis shudder.

"John..." Otis squirmed beneath him, blushing slightly.

The clown kissed down Otis's torso, stopping to appreciate bruises or scars the other man had accumulated.

"What's this here?" He ghosted his fingers lightly over a bruise forming on Otis's hip. "I didn't do that..."

"B-bumped...into somethin'...Can't...really remember what."

"Ooh, are we all hot and bothered?"

"Can't concentrate..."

Cutter chuckled, kissing ever so slightly closer to Otis's member before taking it entirely into his mouth.

"O-Oh god, John..." Otis moaned, tilting his head back breathlessly. Cutter moved achingly slow. Horridly slow. Otis held on for as long as he could before he unloaded into Cutter's mouth, his orgasm shaking him and rocking him with loud moans.

Kissing back up the pale torso, Cutter chuckled. "I'm not done with you yet, you gorgeous man."

Otis let out an appreciative hum. Spaulding moved a bit too quickly to stroke his face; Otis flinched and then sighed in frustration at his own reaction. "Sorry..."

"Don't be sorry, darlin'. Did I move too fast?"

Otis nodded, ruby eyes apologetic and worried.

"Don't worry so much, Otis. I still love you." A kiss on both cheeks before a loving, slow, passionate kiss on the lips.

He heard Otis whimper in pleasure and felt him harden against his thigh once again. Taking it as a cue, Cutter began to prep Otis, gently working in two fingers, then three. "Think you're ready for me, hon?"

Otis nodded against Cutter's shoulder, letting out a small gasp as he was entered by the larger man.

Cutter tried desperately to be as gentle and caring as he could. As much as he willed himself to be slow, he lost himself when he and Otis made love. He was too entranced and enraptured, and as he came close, he noticed himself building a quicker rhythm that he knew he wouldn't be able to stop, especially not with Otis screaming his name like he was.

When they were both finally satisfied, Otis curled up to Cutter in his typical feline way- inseparable from the larger man.

"Otis..."

"Hm?"

"Do you know how lucky I am to have sex with my best friend every night?"

"You really meant that, about..."

"Of course I did."

"It's not EVERY night..."

"Shut up."


	24. Chapter 24

"Hey, daddy...?"

"What's up, babygirl?" He answered the phone, shocked to hear her voice on the other end.

"How...quickly can you get to the hospital?"

"Uh...About a half hour? Why?"

"Well...Uhm...Otis got hurt..."

"Holy fuck what happened?!"

"He uh...He got kicked by a horse and fell into the barbed wire...Horse got him really good...Doctor thinks he broke somethin'..."

"Shit. I'll be right there."

"Daddy?"

"Huh?"

"Why is he asking for you?"

"Because I'm a father to him, I guess? He's probably scared as hell..."

"Okay...Just...get here."

Cutter made it to the hospital in 20 minutes, thanking whatever God was listening that there were no cops on the road.

"Hey, Daddy..." Baby greeted him. "He's in that room down there. Doctors finally got him calmed down enough...He's in a hell of a lot of pain...They're tryin' to get him x-rayed but he couldn't sit still."

"Alright..." He ventured into the room, pulling back the curtain. "Otis?"

Mother Firefly stood. "I don't care what you two are to each other, just don't you DARE hurt him." She left without waiting for an answer.

"Otis...did...did you tell her?"

"No..." He groaned. "John..."

When Otis looked up at him with those ruby eyes so full of pain and fear, he almost crumpled. "It's okay. It's okay, I'm here now." He moved to take his hand, but stopped when he realized that he was bandaged. "God...How'd they get you out of the wire?"

"Rufus pulled me out. Just jerked me out...Ain't nothin' else you can do. Least I didn't lose any fingers...I tried to catch myself on it. Bad idea..."

"Where'd the horse kick you?"

Hand shaking, Otis pulled the covers back to reveal a large bruise forming on his hip. "I know it's broken...Don't need an x-ray to tell me that. Been broken before. I know what it feels like."

"It'll be okay. You'll be okay."

"I am now that you're here..." He cringed. "God...why did I say that, I mean-"

Cutter kissed him sweetly. "I know what you mean."

"I love you..." Otis murmured, red orbs staring into his brown.

"I know you do." Another kiss. "I love you too."

"It fuckin' hurts, John..."

"I know honey, I know. It'll be okay. You'll get fixed up and we'll take care of you, just like we did before."

He nodded. "I probably scared that poor mare..."

"Otis, are you fucking kidding me?"

"What? I was screaming and she took off. Don't know if anyone put her back in the barn or not."

"I'd fuckin' shoot that horse-"

"No! She didn't do anything wrong! She was just scared!"

Cutter sighed. "You never cease to amaze me, you know that?"

"I'll work with her more. You'll see."

"Yeah, see how many times you get kicked."

"John...I just want you to hold me..."

"Darlin'...You know I can't..."

"I know..."

"It's okay. It's gonna be okay. And when you have your surgery, you're gonna come stay with me because I only have one floor. Okay?"

Otis nodded. "I can't wait." A small smile graced his features.

The day of the surgery came and Cutter waited anxiously for news that Otis was okay. When the phone finally rang and he heard the go ahead to come in, he bolted to the car and frantically drove.

Baby met him at the door to the hospital.

"He told me."

"T...Told you what?"

"You two. You're together."

"Baby, I-"

"I don't care. Just please, please don't hurt him, Daddy."

"Vera..."

"As long as you love him, I don't care what you do. But treat him right, because he's been through enough in his life."

"How did he tell you?"

"I asked him why he wanted you so badly. And he was drugged up on the anesthesia and he said because he loves you. And then he got this stupid grin on his face and said you love him too. That you taught him how to kiss."

Cutter rubbed his face. "Yeah...Yeah. Shit..."

"Daddy...I'm not mad. I'm...kind of happy, actually. Happy he has someone."

"Are you the only one who knows?"

"So far."

"Shit..."

Baby smirked, twirling her hair. "So who's the bottom?"

"He is, goddammit." He grumbled, walking toward the elevator.

It seemed to take ages for Baby to stop babbling and for the elevator to actually get to the correct floor. "He's right in here, daddy. Probably asleep."

"Alright." He pulled the curtain back and braced himself, unsure of what condition Otis would be in.

He lay peacefully, arm and chest still wrapped in bandages. His surgical wound was obscured from view by a warmed blanket wrapped around him.

"Otis?" He sat beside him, stroking his face. "Otis can you wake up and see me?"

"Love you, John..." He muttered.

"I love you too, darlin'. Can you open your eyes for me and say hello?"

Whimpering, Otis obliged. His eyes widened in horror when he saw Baby standing behind him.

"You don't remember telling her, do you?"

"Fuck, I what?"

"It's okay, Otis. I'm not upset. I'm not angry. I'm happy that you're happy!" She chirped.

"How's the pain, babe?" Cutter asked.

"Not bad yet..." He gulped. "John...I'm afraid to look...Did...Did I lose my leg?"

"What? No! What made you think that?"

"I dunno...I..." His face reddened. "I don't know."

"I wish your back wasn't all cut up so I could give you a hug and squeeze you and hold you." He kissed Otis's cheek.

"Yeah, me too..." He fidgeted slightly. "I told her?"

"Yeah...You said you wanted me because you love me, basically. So she found out."

"Fuck..."

"It's okay honey. It's okay. Don't worry about it. She wasn't upset or angry. It's going to be okay."

"John..." He groaned. "Hurts..."

"What does, sweetheart?"

"Everything..."

"Just relax, Otis." He kissed his head once again, taking his thin face in his bear paw hands. "Just relax. We'll keep you taken care of, okay?"

He exited the room, scouting out a nurse for assistance. Baby followed.

"You...are really, really good with him."

"What did you think I'd do, hit him? He's had enough of that."

"No, I just...Never thought you were the mushy type in your relationships."

"I'm not. But he gets me like that. He's...Very special to me."

Cutter sighed, glancing at Baby.

"I know you feel protective of him because you know he's been hurt. But you don't have to protect him from me." He followed a nurse down the hallway.


End file.
